


Watching Spider-Man: Far From Home

by Avivastef



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Multi-Fandom, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, F/M, Flash is an idiot, M/M, Multiple Crossovers, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Protective Tony Stark, Queens, Watching, multiple fandom appearances, posted on wattpad, random people show up - Freeform, reactions, tony stark is a dad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avivastef/pseuds/Avivastef
Summary: Basically what the title saysTony, Nat and Steve are alivePost Spider-man Far from home
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 48
Kudos: 350





	1. Chapter 1

Midtown Highschool, with its busy hallways full of students, lockers, and teachers heading off to their next class. The school hasn't been the same since the Blip. And especially now that they knew that Peter Parker is Spider-Man and "killed Mysterio." No one would ever dream that dorky, cute, geeky Peter Parker was their Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. And no one can even think about that Spider-Man killed Mysterio.

Peter disappeared after his face was revealed leaving his girlfriend and best friend shattered. They of course did not believe these lies and knew that somehow Mysterio sent out fake footage. How? Well that was a mystery.

Flash had a great time trash talking Peter. Now everyone agreed with him. Peter Parker was hated by everyone in Queens.

The bell rang signaling the start of period five. The freshmen, juniors, sophomores, and seniors stopped their gossiping and rushed to their next class.

The second the clock hit 2:15 a excruciatingly painful sound filled the room, making everyone temporarily deaf. Then the lights went out!

When the lights turned back on and the noise stopped, the residents of Queens along with the Avengers found themselves sitting in plush seats in front of a movie theater screen. Try to imagine the panic going through 2.29 million people (as of 2020.) yeah it wasn't pretty. After about an hour the screaming and yelling and shouting died down and people slumped in their seats dejected thinking they're going to die. Why else would someone trap them in a movie theater? To watch a movie? Certainly not. They were probably going to torture them with one of those super sad movies about the Holocaust like The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.

Suddenly a note appeared on the screen big enough that everyone can read it. Written on the screen said...

Dearest Avengers and people of Queens,

Due to the false accusation of Peter Parker a.k.a. Spider-Man killing Quentin Beck a.k.a. Mysterio, I decided that you should know the truth. I will have to ask Mr. Stark and the rest of the Avengers to refrain from killing anyone in the room or Mr. Fury. Thank you for your cooperation and I am very sorry for the inconvenience.

P.S. STEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO STAYING WITH BUCKY TILL THE END OF THE LINE!?

Sincerely yours,

Anonymous

The lights dimmed and the red theater seats reclined back, and the 2.29 million people seated looked at the screen as it turned black and the five words no one expected to see appeared on the screen...

Spider-Man: Far From Home


	2. OK WHO DECIDED TO CALL IT THE BLIP!?

The Columbia Pictures logo plays normally. At the end, the Torch Lady fades into a statue in Ixtenco, Mexico.]

[A car drives up to a destroyed village in that place. Maria Hill and Nick Fury get out]

Maria Hill: Nick, this was a tragedy, but it's not why we're here. What, are we fighting the weather now?

Nick Fury: Locals say the cyclone had a face.

"So that bastard lives, can he even die, wait do we get everyone back?" Tony asked

"You're dead, and yes we do get everyone back" Rhodey said

"Excuse me on the dying part, not on the getting everyone back part which is great, Thanks Scott"

"No problem"

"No Tony, Thanos comes back through the time machine and attacks us after Bruce snaps, then we all almost die, when Doctor Strange brings everyone back with those portals. And you died after snapping away Thanos' army. You saved us."

Tony didn't say a word (A/N Natasha, Steve and Tony are from during the Time Heist)

Maria Hill: People say things when they're under stress. Okay, that does not mean that this is the start to another big world-

[A green cloud of smoke appears in front of them. Both pull out their guns, looking towards a strangely dressed man.]

Quentin Beck: Who are you?

"HEY LOOK IT'S MYSTERIO!!" Some dude yelled in the crowd, and people in the theater hooted and whistled.

[The Earth Elemental, that appears to be made from rocks, comes from the ground in the village.]

Quentin Beck: You don't want any part of this. [he steps forward, green blasts shooting from his hands]

"Yeah that's not cool at all" Clint said throwing Popcorn at the screen

"Popcorn? Already?" Natasha asked

"Forget about that. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET POPCORN?" Tony asked

Clint still in his Emo phase stuck his tongue out at Tony, like losing his family gave him permission to act annoying.

[Marvel intro plays to 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston (19---2012. A poorly edited video in tribute of the fallen Avengers, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Steve Rogers/Captain America (although it is unknown that he actually died.), Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, and Vision plays. It shifts to show Midtown School's news show with Betty Brant and Jason Ionello]

Betty Brant: Gone. But not forgotten.

"So we all die?" Natasha askes weakly

Clint put a comforting hand on her shoulder

Jason Ionello: Thanks to Kenneth Lim and Vihaan Ramamurthy for their help with that touching video tribute.

Betty Brant: This year has been nothing short of-

Jason Ionello: [a beep blocks out what he said] S**t is crazy. It's like insane.

Betty Brant: Jason.

Jason Ionello: What?

Betty Brant: No swearing.

Jason Ionello: Yeah, it's like the last day of school, we're good.

Betty Brant: Historic. Over five years ago, half of all life in the universe, including our own Midtown High was wiped from existence. But then eight months ago, a band of brave heroes brought us back. They called it the Blip. Those of us who blipped away came back the same age. But our classmates that didn't blip grew five years older.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE" Sam yelled "WHO DECIDED TO CALL IT 'THE BLIP' YOU COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER? HELLO?! A GIANT UGLY EVIL PURPLE ALIEN SPACE GRAPE CAME OUT OF A PORTAL WITH HIS ROCK COLLECTION, SNAPPED HIS FRICKING FINGERS AND HALF THE UNIVERSE DISAPPEARED! AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE CALLIN' THAT 'THE BLIP'?

"Dude, chill, it's ok" Rhodey said

Jason Ionello: Yeah, like my little brother is now older than me.

"That's a little creepy" a random old lady named Patricia said

Betty Brant: (annoyed) Yeah, it's math. And even though we had slipped away halfway through the school year and had already taken midterms, the school made us start the whole year over from the beginning.

Jason Ionello: Totally unfair. It's not right.

"IT IS UNFAIR!!" the entire student body of Midtown high yelled in unison

Betty Brant: Tigers, it's been a long, dramatic, somewhat confusing road. As we draw this year to a close, it's time to move on to a new phase of our lives.

"She's gonna end up being a diplomat" a lawyer whispered to colleague

His friend nodded in agreement

Jason Ionello: Pray nothing crazy happens again because, are the Avengers even a thing anymore? Does anyone even have a plan?!

"Not that I know of" Wanda said "do we have a plan?"

"Nope"

"No"

"Not at all"

"We should all retire"

[In a classroom, Peter Parker sits down next to Ned Leeds.]

Peter Parker: I have a plan.

Tony smiled seeing his 'son' on screen.

The entire population of Queens booed

(enthusiastic) Okay, first, I sit next to MJ on the flight.

Ned Leeds: Mhm.

Peter Parker: Second, I'm gonna buy a dual headphone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time.

Ned Leeds: Okay.

Peter Parker: Three, when we go to Venice, Venice is super famous for making stuff out of glass, right?

"I don't see where this is going" Carol said

"It's obvious My Spider Baby has a crush and is gonna get her a present" Natasha replied

Ned Leeds: True.

Peter Parker: So, I'm gonna buy her a Black Dahlia necklace, because her favorite flower is the Black Dahlia, because of, well...

Ned Leeds: The murder.

Peter Parker: The murder. Four, when we go to Paris, I'm gonna take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace...

Ned Leeds: Oh!

Peter Parker: And then five, I'm gonna tell her how I feel...And then six, hopefully she tells me she feels the same way.

"AWW" all the Avengers cooed while the rest of the theater booed

Ned Leeds: Oh! Don't forget step seven.

Peter Parker: [thinking] Step seven...

Ned Leeds: Don't do any of that.

"It was a pretty solid plan, why shouldn't he do it" MJ asked Ned who was conveniently sitting next to her. He didn't answer because he was too busy brooding about the loss of his best friend

[Peter looks up, confused.]

Peter Parker: Why?

Ned Leeds: Because we're gonna be bachelors in Europe, Peter!

Peter Parker: Ned...

Ned Leeds: Look, I may not know much, but I do know this: Europeans love Americans.

"That is the biggest lie I have heard in my life" A European businessman who lives in Bayside exclaimed

Peter Parker: ...Really?

Ned Leeds: And more than half of them are women!

Peter Parker: Okay, sure, but...I really like MJ, man. Okay? She's awesome, she's funny in a sort of dark way, and sometimes I catch her looking at me, and I like I've feel stood up way too...Wait. Dude, she's coming now. Just don't say anything.

"AWW" the Avengers cooed again

"Mommy, why is everyone making weird sounds?" Morgan looked at Pepper who frankly didn't know how to answer her five-year-old daughter

[Michelle Jones walks over to them.]

MJ: What up, dorks? Excited about the science trip?

Peter Parker: Hey, uh, yeah. We're just talking about the trip.

Ned Leeds: Yeah, and Peter's plan.

MJ: You have a plan?

Peter Parker: I don't-I don't have a plan.

Ned Leeds: No, he's just going to collect tiny spoons while we're traveling to other countries. (winks at Peter)

MJ: Like a grandmother?

"That is very untrue young lady, I am very offended" Said one grandmother

Peter Parker: I'm not collecting tiny spoons. He's collecting tiny spoons.

"Smooth" some idiot in the crowd yelled

MJ: Oh. Okay, well...that was a real roller coaster.

Peter Parker: Mhm...

MJ: By the way, travel tip: You should probably download a VPN on your phone, just so that the government can't track you while we're abroad.

Peter Parker: Smart. Will do.

[MJ leaves.]

Ned Leeds: Dude, I think that went really great!

"Nope, not great at all" Everyone in the crowd seemed to disagree with Ned, except Ned.

[Peter seems to disagree.]

"His face was worth it though" Sam said laughing

Bucky couldn't agree more

"What do you two have against him?" Natasha asked

"Dude, don't even go there" Bucky warned "Or Sam might not stop going into another full-blown Speech"

"Point taken"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, i dont know how to do italics or bold so all y'all gotta deal with it.
> 
> It's also posted on wattpad.  
> Same title account is @Yassentheassassin


	3. IT'S GANG UP AGAINTS TONY TIME!

ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO MARVEL STUDIOS! NO RIGHTS RESERVED!

[In the Homeless Support building, Spider-Man (in his Iron Spider suit) and his Aunt May are on stage.]

Aunt May: When I blipped back to my apartment, the family living there was very confused. The wife thought that I was a mistress. (the audience laughs) The Grandma thought that I was a ghost. (more laughter) It was, (laughs) it was really a mess. Thank you all for coming out to support those who have been displaced by the Blip, and, of course, thanks to our very own Spider-Man!

"'Twas terrifying" the wife said

[The audience erupts in applause for Spider-Man. Aunt May gestures Peter to the microphone.]

Spider-Man: Thank you, Ms. Parker, for having me. And thank you guys for having me. [Awkwardly gives the audience a thumbs-up.]

"Talk about awkward" Rhodey said

[The audience cheers once more.]

Aunt May: And thank you Spider-Man, and he'll be right back out to take photos and videos, thank you!

[Peter and Aunt May head backstage. Peter unmasks himself.]

"BOOO" Flash yelled

Peter Parker: That was amazing.

Aunt May: That was great. (high-fives Peter)

Peter Parker: Ah, that was so cool. I was a little nervous!

Aunt May: My body was a little stiff, I felt like I wasn't in the pocket.

Peter Parker: No, I thought you did great!

Aunt May: Yeah, well, actually, I did think you were a little stiff.

Peter Parker: [shrugs] I felt that, too, I felt that, too.

"Totally, he was so awkward" Betty said

"Tony teach your son to loosen up" Natasha commanded slapping Tony's arm

"HE'S NOT MY SON!!" Tony yelled in protest

"He is though, you definitely treat him like your son" Rhodey countered

"Are you on her side now?"

"There isn't sides Tony" Natasha said

"You did the entire Time Heist for him" Scott reminded him

"That's a lie, that is completely untrue, well partially. I did it to get EVERYONE back" Tony replied defensively

"I rest my case" Scott said putting his hands up in mock surrender

"FALSE ACCUSATIONS" Tony screamed on top of his lungs

"It's not an accusation, geez" Sam rolled his eyes

The conversation definitely left a bunch of people very confused

Aunt May: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Did you get your passport?

Peter Parker: Yeah.

Aunt May: Mini toothpaste?

Peter: Yeah.

[Happy Hogan enters. He's carrying a big check for the homeless.]

"HAPPY!!" Tony yelled excitedly

Happy Hogan: Hey, sorry I'm late.

Peter Parker: Happy, hey!

Happy Hogan: [to May] Oh, you look lovely.

Aunt May: Thanks, you too.

Happy Hogan: Thank you. New dress?

Aunt May: Uh, yeah. Yes, it is. That's a new beard.

[Peter looks back in forth between the two, confused.]

"I am just as confused as he is" Tony said in unison with half the room

Happy Hogan: It's my Blip beard, because I grew it in the blip. Blip beard.

"It's still a stupid name" Sam grumbled

"Ok buddy, what would you name it?" Bucky asked

"First, I don't know, but not 'The Blip' second, did you call me Buddy?"

"No"

Aunt May: I see.

Happy: Anyway, the reason I'm late is because this was misplaced at the office. Can you believe it? Because it's enormous. I mean, not the amount, the size. The amount's nice too.

Aunt May: (laughs) Oh.

Happy Hogan: The very generous Pepper Potts, said...

"She's more generous than you, that's for sure"

"Thank you, Natasha"

"No problem Pepper"

Aunt May: Thank you.

Happy Hogan: ...she's sorry she couldn't be here.

[Peter is still looking at them in confusion]

"His face though!!" Shuri said laughing

Aunt May: I think I'm going to go change the Sterno under the vegan lasagna. (to Peter) Spider-Man, go shake hands.

Peter Parker: Will do. [turns to Happy as May leaves] What just happened?

"I want to know that too"

"Like father like son"

"Oh, for God's sake, HE ISN'T MY SON!!"

"He's your son dear stop denying it" Pepper said

All Tony could do was slump in his seat defeated, ignoring the smug looks Natasha, Rhodey, and Scott were sending him.

Happy Hogan: Heads up, Nick Fury's calling you.

Peter Parker: Nick Fury's going to call me?

Happy Hogan: Yeah.

"WHY!!" Everyone yelled

Peter Parker: Why?

Happy Hogan: Why? Because he probably has some hero stuff for you to do. You're a superhero. He calls superheroes.

Peter Parker: Well, I mean if it was really that important, he'd probably call someone else. Not me.

[inside Peter's bag, his phone begins to ring]

Happy Hogan: Apparently not. [Peter pulls out his phone from the bag] No caller ID. That's him.

Peter Parker: I don't really want to talk to Nick Fury.

"Smart kid"

"I heard that Barton"

Happy Hogan: Answer the phone.

Peter Parker: Why?

Happy Hogan: Because if you don't talk to him, then I have to talk, and I don't want to talk to him.

Peter Parker: Why don't you want to talk to him?

Happy Hogan: Because I'm scared . . . Just answer the phone. [Peter holds up his phone, and declines the call] You sent Nick Fury to voice mail?

"Brave as well" Natasha answered

Peter Parker: Yeah.

"YOU DON'T SEND NICK FURY TO VOICE MAIL" The Avengers yelled confusing the already confused people of Queens.

Happy Hogan: You don't send Nick Fury to voice mail!

Peter Parker: Did you hear that? They're calling me. I got to go. I got to go.

[Peter starts to back away]

Happy Hogan: You got to talk to him.

Peter Parker: I'm going to call him. I promise you. I'm going to call him. I will.

Happy Hogan: You do not ghost Nick Fury!

Peter Parker: I promise you, I'll call him. [Peter backs out of the room through the curtains, and whispers to himself] After my trip.

[Peter puts his iron-mask on as he backs away and turns around to open the curtain. He jumps up as he enters the stage]

Peter Parker: Hey! [waves]

From the other room, Happy gets buzzed. He puts his phone up to his ear.

Happy Hogan: Yeah? Hi -- No, no, he's not ghosting you.

"Oy, he looks terrified"

Fury sat there glaring at the Avengers

[FROM THE STAGE]

[Reporters crowd all around Peter as he just entered. The crowd is speaking indistinctly. Peter backs away, putting a hand up, so they could stay back.]

Peter Parker: Okay, one question at a time.

[Peter points to the Asian woman.]

Woman: Are you the head Avenger? Are you the head Avenger now?

"No, he's not, Sam's Captain America now" Bucky said with a smirk

Steve looked at him confused

"You went back to Peggy" Bucky shrugged, though inside he was hurting

Peter Parker: Uh, no I'm not.

[He points to another woman, who leans over the crowd of reporters.]

Woman: If the aliens come back, what are you gonna do?

"They aren't coming back because they disappeared of the face of the earth or they 'Blipped'" Sam said

[Peter looks around.]

Peter Parker: Does anyone have any neighborhood questions?

"Poor kid" Some old man said

[Everyone starts asking desperately. He leans in for a man to ask a question, hoping it's a neighborhood question.]

Sean: Sean Wilford, Queens Tribune. What is it like to take over from Tony Stark? Those are some big shoes to fill.

[His question echoes Peter's mind. Everyone's still asking questions as he has time to think of his answer. He started to have anxiety and feels like he is about to pass out.]

"YOU IDIOT! HE'S DEALING WITH GRIEF!!" Rhodey yelled out

No one knew how close Peter and Tony were.

Peter Parker: I'm uh-- I'm going to go. Thanks so much, everyone, for coming.

[He jumps up to the roof, to only find himself on top, looking out onto the city. His mask fades off and he breathes deeply as a large train passes by. A cellphone buzzes in his backpack and he reaches to get it. He never answers and the buzzing stops as he looks back into the city. He turns to his left to see a painting of Iron-Man coming right at him. He blinks as he turns away, feeling the pain and sorrow as he thinks about his long-lost friend.]

"Oh Peter" Ned said sadly

"So, I really do die?" Tony breathed

Rhodey put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Morgan ran to give her dad a hug.


	4. WARNING! PERFUME ALLERGY ALERT

[PETER'S ROOM]

[An unknown phone number shows up on Peter's cracked phone as he packs his suitcase. He looks at it, but he sets it back down, upset. He pulls a bin from underneath the bed and takes some clothes out and sniffs them as he places it in his suitcase. He gets up, exhausted.]

"He's ghosting you"

"I suddenly respect the kid"

"He's got guts"

Peter Parker: Okay.

[He stays there for a moment before he turns his head to see his old Spider-Man suit, hanging from his closet. He looks at it. He closes the closet. Suddenly, May Parker comes in with an banana in her hand.]

Aunt May: Hungry?

[She throws the banana at Peter's shoulder. It hits him and he jerks back, petrified. He gasps as he turns around to see May with her hands on her mouth, shocked.]

Aunt May: Oh... So sorry. Ha-ha. I thought you could sense that with your Peter-tingle.

"Peter-Tingle?" Tony asked incredulously "I am totally using that"

"I am going to make fun of him so much!" Sam said excitedly

"Peter-tingle?" Flash said with disgust

[She points at him with a smile. He sighs, exhausted at that nickname.]

Peter Parker: Please do not start calling it Peter-tingle.

"TOO LATE!"

Aunt May: So what's up? You can dodge bullets but not bananas?

"He dodged bullets?" Ned asked

"He dodged Thanos" Tony said absentmindedly

The city of Queens looked at him in shock

Peter Parker: No, I just really need this vacation. I need a break.

[May Parker comes to wrap her arms around Peter's neck. She hugs him.]

Aunt May: You deserve it.

"Agreed" The avengers said

[She rubs his shoulders as she pulls away.]

Aunt May: Yeah. [Turns around] You know what? You should pack your suit, just in case. I have a tingle about it.

[Aunt May smirks as she walks away. Peter cringes.]

"Ooh I like her" Carol and Natasha spoke at the exact same time

Peter Parker: Please stop saying "tingle," May.

[He looks over at his suit.]

Peter Parker: No. [he closes the closet door]

[He looks over at his new suit that is in a cage. It looks like magic floating around it and a sign behind it says 'Iron Spider Charging Do Not Unplug.' His hand is still on the closet door as he looks at it in deep thought.]

"THAT IS SO COOL!!" Some science geek yelled

Peter Parker: No. No, I'm not.

[He closes his suitcase.]

[AIRPLANE]

As the airplane flies by, we see Peter opening his window and looking out at the view. He smiles happily.

Ned taps him on the shoulder, excitedly.

Ned Leeds: Yeah!

Man 1: Can you help me get my stuff up?

Woman 1: Oh, sorry, that's mine.

Man 2: No worries.

[Betty Brant comes in, waving at some people. Mr. Harrington comes behind her, looking around the place.]

Mr. Harrington: Do you want the first shift or the second? I could take either.

Mr. Dell: Give me the third shift. I took an Ambien.

Mr. Harrington: I can't chaperone these kids alone.

[Suddenly, a familiar voice can be heard from the other side of the plane. It's Flash Thompson. He held a drink in his hand.]

"Is that legal?"

"Probably not, he's in high school"

Flash Thompson: Yo, Parker! This, is called an airplane. It's like the buses you're used to, [MJ walks by] except it flies over the poor neighborhoods instead of driving through them.

"RoOD"

"Rood"

"RooD"

"rOOd"

"roOD" Some girl squad said

[MJ leans over to the flight attendant. Brad Davis is with her.]

MJ: Ma'am?

Flight Attendant: Mm-hm?

MJ: He blipped, so technically, he's 16, not 21.

"MJ! I LIKE YOU!!" Natasha yelled to the back of the room

MJ flashed a smug look to all her gaping peers

[Flash Thompson blinks at MJ as the flight attendant reaches to grab his drink out of his hand. He looks down as she grabs it.]

Flight Attendant: I'll take that.

[People start to laugh as Flash Thompson's eyes are big. He turns to her.]

Flash Thompson: She's lying! I don't even know this girl.

[MJ turns around to the boys that are sitting there as Flash Thompson leaves. She looks at them and lifts her chin up in a 'hi' kind of way. Brad Davis smiles at them as he passes by.]

Brad Davis: Classic MJ, right?

[Peter Parker looks over at Brad Davis with a creeped-out expression as Ned Leeds sits there with a cool one. He turns his head as Peter Parker starts talking.]

"Creepo" Sam whispered

Peter Parker: Did you know Brad was coming?

[Ned Leeds shakes his head.]

Ned Leeds: It-- It's so weird. Like, one day, he's that kid who cried and got nosebleeds all the time, and suddenly, we Blip back, and he's totally ripped and super nice and all these girls are after him.

[Peter Parker narrows his eyebrows as they turn back around from watching Brad Davis and MJ put their stuff in the overhead compartments.]

Peter Parker: Not all the girls are after him.

Ned Leeds: No, man. They're all after him.

[MJ and Brad Davis are helping each other out.]

MJ [giggling]: Yeah. Here.

[Ned Leeds turns back around.]

Ned Leeds: Anyway, on to more important things. [He unzips his bag. He shows Peter Parker what he has.] It's a nine-hour flight. We can play Beast Slayers the whole time.

"NERD!" some of Ned's classmates yelled

[Peter Parker looks back at MJ, staring at her for a split second before leaned into Ned's ear to whisper.]

Peter Parker: I need your help to sit next to MJ.

[Ned Leeds rolls his eyes as he sighs.] [Peter looks back at MJ again.]

Ned Leeds: Seriously?

Peter Parker: Yes, seriously.

Ned Leeds: What about all our plan? American bachelors in Europe!

Peter Parker: That's your plan! That's a solo plan. Come on, this is my plan.

[Ned Leeds looks at him with solemn eyes. He turns around and back again. Peter Parker looks desperately at him.]

Peter Parker: Please.

[Ned rolls his eyes as his head leans back.]

[Ned Leeds gets up from his seat over to MJ and Betty Brant, who are sitting next to each other. They look up at him.]

Ned Leeds: Hey, guys. Uh, there's an old lady in front of us wearing a crazy amount of perfume and it's kind of setting off Peter's allergies. Uh, Betty, if you could switch seats with him, that would be—

"I wish I had a friend like that" Tony grumbled

"Excuse me? You have me as friend" Rhodey said in mock annoyance

"Eh'

Betty Brant: He's allergic to perfume?

[Ned Leeds stays silent and shakes his head.]

Ned Leeds: Yeah, yeah, because it-- it makes his eyes water, and he can't really--

Mr. Harrington turns around in his seat after eavesdropping on the conversation.

Mr. Harrington: Peter has a perfume allergy?

Ned Leeds: Oh, uh...

Mr. Harrington: From experience, perfume allergies are no joke. I can feel hives breaking out already. MJ, stand up.

[Mr. Harrington gets up from his seat as Peter Parker does.] [MJ stands up as Mr. Harrington gives orders.]

Mr. Harrington: Ned, take MJ's spot. MJ, you take my spot. [Mr. Harrington turns toward Peter] Peter, let's get you out of there.

MJ: Sorry.

Mr. Harrington: Zach and Sebastian, you take Ned and Peter's seats.

Brad Davis: That's all right.

Mr. Harrington: Ned, thanks for bringing this to my attention. Your safety is my responsibility and Mr. Dell's, but he's... [Mr. Dell can be seen snoring] I got it for now. Let's go, Peter!

"Epic fail" Clint said

"He's the one watching over the kids?" Shuri asked

[Peter Parker looks at Mr. Harrington like he's gone bonkers and picks up his bag.]

Mr. Harrington: Let's go!

[Peter Parker moves to his spot.] [Ned Leeds sits down next to Betty Brant, who looks depressed.]

[Peter Parker passed by Mr. Harrington and sat down at the spot next to him.]

Mr. Harrington: Yeah, I have a small bladder, so I took the aisle.

[Ned Leeds turns around to Betty Brant.]

Ned Leeds: So did you want to play Beast Slayer?

Betty Brant: Nope.

[Awkward silence.]

Ned Leeds: Have you ever played any kind of PC game or--?

Betty Brant: No.

Ned Leeds: [Nods] Got it.

[Peter Parker is in the back with Mr. Harrington, looking upset as the teacher is telling a story.]

Mr. Harrington: Did I ever tell you how my wife pretended to Blip out?

"NO ONE CARES!" Flash yelled which earned him glares from like, everyone.

[Peter Parker doesn't answer.]

Mr. Harrington: Turns out, she ran off with a guy in her hiking group. We had a fake funeral for her and everything. Well, the funeral was real because I thought she was really dead. Wanna see the video?

Brad Davis: Well, I've gotta dual headphone adapter if you wanna watch a movie.

MJ: Only if it's depressing, or hilarious.

"Kids have weird types" Some collage intern said

Mr. Harrington: [To Peter Parker] Oh you have a dual headphone adapter. We can watch together.

Pilot: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Flight time today will be eight hours and forty-nine minutes to Venice, Italy.

"Oish, poor Peter"

"At least people are starting to like him" Sam whispered to Bucky who nodded his head

"This kid killed Mysterio? I don't believe it"

"It was set up, how can a kid who cant even sit next to his crush kill a hero?"


	5. What even is that?! A water monster?! PULEEZE!

[AIRPORT - VENICE, ITALY]

Peter Parker: Hey, man. Did you see Brad and MJ on the plane? They were watching movies and laughing the entire time.

"Someone's jealous" Tony said with a smirk

"If only Peter were here so we could tease him" Sam sighed

Ned Leeds: Dude, don't worry, okay? I'm sure it's nothing.

Betty Brant: Hey, babe, can you hold this for me, please?

Ned Leeds: Yeah, of course

Betty Brant: Thanks

Peter Parker: What was that?

Ned Leeds: Well, we actually got to talking on the plane, and it turns out we have a lot in common. So, uh, we're boyfriend-girlfriend now.

"That makes total sense" Natasha rolled her eyes

Peter Parker: Whatever happened to being an American bachelor in Europe?

Ned Leeds: Peter... those were the words of a boy. That boy met a woman. A very strong and powerful woman. And now, that boy's a man.

Everyone stared blankly at the screen

Betty Brant: Babe?

Ned Leeds: Coming, babe.

[Through customs, Peter Parker is taken away from the group into a private searching area. A stern-looking woman places the case on a table, and unzips it.]

"What did he pack?" Jake a student in tenth grade asked wiggling his eyebrows

Peter Parker: There's nothing in there, I swear

[The case is opened and reveals — Peter's Spider-Man suit. There's a yellow sticky-note taped to it saying, "You almost forgot this — May xx". The woman picks up the banana placed next to it.]

Attendant: This, no. [holds up banana]

Peter Parker: Sorry.

The crowd burst out laughing

"HOLY SHIT!"

"THAT WAS HILARIOUS"

[Peter Parker has now rushed back to the school group.]

Peter Parker: I'm here! Mr. Harrington! I'm here, I'm here!

Mr. Harrington: Wait, wait, wait, Peter's here. Thank goodness.

[The school group took a boat through the Grand Canale in Venice. They group is touristy, taking photos and videos of Venice.]

[Their boat pulls up to the most dingy-looking hotel in the area. With scaffolding covering the front, the 'hotel' sign hanging 'by a thread'.]

Mr. Harrington: Looks like we're here. They're doing some renovations to the place. Getting some upgrades.

Student: This place is trash

"Agreed" Most of the room said

Mr. Harrington: That must be the concierge.

[INSIDE HOTEL]

Mr. Harrington: Everyone, here we are! [He takes in the desolate insides of the hotel — it's just as bad as the outside, maybe even worse. A cat standing on a table meows. Mr. Harrington steps into a puddle of water]

Mr. Dell: Oh whoa... whoa, whoa.

MJ: Tell me we're not staying here.

Flash Thompson: This place is sinking.

"I feel so bad for these kids right now"

Mr. Harrington: [with feigned enthusiasm] I think you mean charming!

Mr. Dell: Okay everybody. Drop your bags off and we're gonna meet at the Da Vinci museum at 3. Let's go!

Me Harrington: Vamanos!

"That's Spanish" some smart-aleck pointed out

MJ: It's andiamo.

Mr. Harrington: Andiamo!

Mr. Dell [to the students]: When in Rome, you do as Romans do. When you're in Venice, your socks get wet!

People just sat there blinking several times

[Students grumbling]

[Students are now at the Saint Marco Polo's Square.]

Flash Thompson: What's up, Flash Mob, how are you guys doing? I'm in Saint Marco Polo's [Someone — probably a student — runs past and hits Flash in the groin. Flash doubles over.] — Oh!

Laughter filled the room and Flash grew bright red

[Ned Leeds and Betty Brant are getting a caricature drawing done of them.]

Betty Brant: This is so much fun!

Ned Leeds: Yeah? [chuckles awkwardly]

[Mr. Harrison is trying to take a photo of himself in front of the scenery. He sets his camera on the railing and posed awkwardly. The camera beeps and takes the picture. Grabbing the camera, Mr. Harrison nearly drops it. He looks at the picture and the camera slips from his hands, falling into the water.]

"Did...You...See...His...Face!?" Tony asked in between fits of laughter

"Stop laughing dear, its not nice"

Tony shrunk a bit "Sorry" he said weakly

[Students are taking a photo in front of a touristy thing]

Student: Three, two, one, say 'pizza!'

Other students: Pizza!

[MJ is standing with her arms out, pigeons perched on her arm and shoulder while Brad takes her picture.]

"I hate pigeons" Clint grumbled throwing some popcorn at the screen hitting each pigeon in the eye.

[Away from the crowd, Peter Parker enters a small shop.]

Peter Parker: Buongiorno.

Shopkeeper: Buongiorno.

Peter Parker: Hi, Uh, I'm looking for a, uh...

~CUT TO THE NECKLACE BEING COMPLETED~

Shopkeeper: Fiore Nero [he holds the black dahlia necklace up to the light]

"That's beautiful!" Some beauty chick said

Peter Parker: It's perfect.

[Peter Parker has exited the shop and joined the fray of tourists and locals in Venice. He's smiling to himself as he holds the bag. MJ comes up unexpectedly behind him.]

MJ: Boh!

"What?"

Peter Parker: What?

MJ: Boh. It's the most perfect word in the world. Italians crated it, and I just discovered it.

Peter Parker: What does it mean?

MJ: That's the thing, it can mean a million things. It can mean 'I don't know', 'get out of my face', 'I don't know and get out of my face'. It's the best thing Italy ever created, except for maybe espresso.

"MJ, I love you" Natasha screamed "Tony your son has good taste"

Tony mumbled something under his breathe that sounded suspiciously like "He's not my son"

Peter Parker: Oh, so you've been drinking espresso.

[An Italian man comes up to them, holding a rose, gesturing between the pair.]

Man: German? American?

MJ: Boh

[The man frowns and walks off.]

"OH YEAH!"

Peter Parker: Whoa.

MJ: Boh is my new superpower. It's like the anti aloha. I was born to say this word... So, what's in the bag?

Peter Parker: Oh, uh.... Boh.

"Genius response" Tony acknowledged

"That is why he's your son"

Tony didn't argue, for once

MJ: Nice.

[MJ notices the many crabs escaping the water by drawing up the pillars at one of the many docks. She pulls out her phone to take a picture.]

MJ: Whoa, cool.

[Peter Parker notices the water being sucked into a grate.]

[Waves rock the boat where Ned Leeds and Betty Brant are comparing hands and smiling at each other.]

Betty: What was that?

[The waves continue before the water becomes still for a split second. Water erupts from the canal and people scream.]

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Some one scream hiding covering his eyes

[Ned and Betty scream as their boat is pushed towards shore by the waves.]

Peter Parker: Betty! You okay?

[Peter Parker helps Betty Brant and Ned Leeds out of the boat.]

Peter Parker: Come on!

Betty Brant: Guys, we gotta go!

[The water swirls into the air, forming the shape of a huge man. The colossal water monster roars.]

"Where's Percy Jackson when you need him?" some Latino boy with brown hair asked

"I don't know Leo, we should call him" a very pretty girl with multicolored eyes replied

Ned Leeds: What is that?

Peter Parker: I don't know.

Ned Leeds: What're you gonna do?

Peter Parker: I left my suit in the hotel room.

"Never leave your suit in the hotel room"

Ned Leeds: Why?

Peter Parker: Because I'm on vacation, Ned! Everyone's gonna see my face, just get them outta here!

[Peter Parker pushes Ned Leeds towards the stairs where Betty Brant and MJ are waiting. The water monster smashes its hand into a building. More people scream. The creature continues to smash buildings and boats. Peter helps people off the stairs.]

"That's terrifying"

"Your kid is brave Tony"

"Nat we already established this when he ghosted Fury" Steve intturupted

"ALL RIGHT! WHAT IS GOING ON!?" Flash yelled at the Avengers

"Uh, we were discussing Tony's kid" Sam said

"Not Morgan" Tony added the last part

"So then who" Betty asked

"PETER!" The Avengers yelled

Peter Parker: Get out of here. Go!

[Peter Parker turns back to the monster as it crashes into a building in front of him. Peter Parker stumbles back.]

Peter Parker: Oh, my God!

[Peter Parker runs up the stairs and barely makes it around the corner before the monster smashes into the building where he had been standing.]

[More people are screaming and running away.]

[Peter Parker hits his wrist together to activate his web-shooters.

"What's he doin?" someone whispered to his friend

Peter Parker [whispers]: Come on.

[Peter Parker moves around the corner and shoots a web at the monster. The web does nothing because the monster is made out of water. Peter Parker looks mildly exasperated.]

"That did nothing"

"Yeah no shit Sherlock"

[People screaming]

[Peter Parker turns to see the monster heading towards a bridge swarming with people.]

Peter Parker: Oh no, you don't!

[Peter Parker jumps across poles in the water and launches himself up onto the bridge by leaping off a peddle. He helps a man up.]

Peter Parker: You okay? Get out of here. Go!

[The water monster slams it's fist into the bridge and Peter Parker is sent flying backward.] [Peter hits the other side of the bridge, now soaking wet. He coughs up water, panting to catch his breath.]

"Still believe he killed this Mysterio person thing?" Quill asked

"YES" A great majority of the people answered

[A green light is seen shooting at the monster from above. Behind Peter Parker, there is a rumbling sound and a cloud of green mist appears in the sky. Out of the mist, a man with an elaborate suit with a cape appears, wearing a glass bowl over his head that swirls with mist.]

"LOOK IT'S MYSTERIO!!" some person yelled pointing excitedly at the screen

"WHOOOOOHOOOO" The crowd erupted in whistles and yells

[Peter looks around and sees a masquerade mask on the ground.]

[The mysterious man shoots green light at the monster, dodging its attacks as he flies through the air.]

[The man is thrown onto the ground and the monster roars.]

[The man emerges from the water and flies at the monster once again.]

Peter Parker: Excuse me sir! I c- I can help! Let me help! I'm really strong and I'm...sticky!

"That's one way to put it"

Mysterio: I need you to lead it away from the canals!

[The man flies off as the monster smashes into the building where Peter stands. Peter flips away, landing on a nearby roof.]

[The monster smashes through a building.]

[Peter swings around it, attaching webs to hold it together.]

"That must be like two tons or more"

~CUT TO THE TWO TEACHERS LEADING A SMALL GROUP OF STUDENTS~

Mr. Dell: The DaVinci Museum. This is why we're here in Venice.

Mr. Harrington: Oh, this is it. It's closed.

Mr. Dell: What do you mean it's closed? 'Till when?

[Brad and another student stand in front of the museum.]

Student: November.

"HAHAHAHAHA" some one laughed falling on the floor

Mr. Dell: [to Mr. Harrington] You didn't check the website?

Mr. Harrington: Oh, that's a good idea.

[Mysterio followed by a blast of water, shoot behind them and the group runs.]

~CUT TO PETER ON THE ROOF~

Peter sees that the bell tower is about to fall on a bunch of people.

Peter Parker: Oh, come on!

[Peter swings towards the tower.]

Mr. Dell: [leading a group of students] Stay low, kids. We'll be safe here.

[Peter is swinging around the bell tower, using webs to stick it back together. He lands in the top of the bell tower, ducking under the bell to get to the other side.]

[Peter takes off his mask, watching Mysterio fight the monster.]

[The bell tower starts to fall again.]

[Peter shoot a web, attaching it to two buildings across from him.]

The [monster hits the tower again.]

[Peter falls, his head hitting the bell, making it ring.]

"OOH, that's gotta hurt" Sam said wincing

"Poor Peter" Betty said putting her hands to her mouth

"Ouch"

Peter Parker: [Groans]

[The tower cracks again, pulling Peter by his webs across it. Peter's head hits the bell again.]

"Seriously?"

"How did he survive that?!"

"He's Spider-Man"

"SO?!"

"That must really hurt"

[The webs fall from the tower.]

[Peter shoots new webs, trying to hold the tower up.]

[Mysterio is still fighting the monster.]

~CUT TO GROUP OF STUDENTS WATCHING MYSTERIO~

Student: Who is that guy?

Brad Davis: I don't know, but he's kicking that water's ass!

"That sounds so mentally off"

[Mysterio defeats the water monster.]

[Peter is still trying to keep the bell tower from falling. He yells out as the tower crumbles. His webs break and the tower finally crashes to the ground.]

[Mysterio lands and people begin cheering.]

The crowd began cheering with the people on screen

"GO MYSTERIO"

"BOO SPIDER-MAN"

[Peter gets up, checking the black dahlia necklace to make sure it's not broken. He sighs in relief when he sees that it's intact.]

"That's what he's worried about?!"

"YEP"

[Mysterio salutes the crowd as they cheer for him before taking off and flying away in a cloud of green smoke.]

"Huh, that sure was interesting"


	6. All in Favor of Killing Nick Fury Say "I"

~CUT TO HOTEL~

[A handful of students are watching a television news report about Mysterio.]

Ned Leeds: It's aliens. It has to be.

"We killed the aliens" Carol said

"More like Tony snapped them away" Steve replied

Flash: Buzzfeed says there's a sailor named Morris Bench who was exposed to an experimental underwater generator and got hydro powers

"Yeah, sure, that's one explanation, totally believe everything you read on the internet" a ninth grader said sarcastically

MJ: Yeah, you should definitely believe everything you read on the internet.

Flash: Spider-Man could take him

Mr Harrington: What do you think it is?

Mr. Dell: You Know, being a man of science.... witches

Everyone stared blankly at the screen

"Witches?"

Peter (on his phone away from the cluster of students): No, no, no, no. We wanna stay. We wanna stay.

Aunt May (at office back in New York): It's a good thing I packed your suit, huh. I can't believe you forgot it.

Peter: Yeah.

Aunt May: So, who was that guy you were with? Was that Mister Strange?

Peter: Doctor Strange, May. Doctor Strange. And, ummm... No. I don't know who that was. He was a new guy. I was trying to help him, but...

"OI, Strange! Remember in space where he thought it was your made up name?"

Stephen grumbled

(Peter is cut off by May on the other end of the phone)

Aunt May: Hey, Happy. No. That's my lunch. Don't eat that one.

Peter: Happy's there?

"Happy?! That's his name?!"

Aunt May: Yeah. It's Happy. He's here. He came by to volunteer. And, he's hanging around the office. And he wants to say hi.

Happy: No, I don't...[May forces the phone into his hand] Hi, Peter

Peter: Hey, Happy...

Happy: I'm sorry. I'm working real hard here. I gotta do a leaflet drop.

Peter: What're you doing...

Happy: I'm glad you're having a good time. Don't worry. I'm really taking care of your aunt. 

Aunt May retracts the phone from Happy's ear and focuses back on Peter.

Aunt May: So, uhh, how's the plan going?

Peter: There's... some setbacks, for sure.

"That's an understatement" whispered Ned

Aunt May: Don't ever think it, just trust your instincts and you'll be fine.

Peter: I know. Love you. Bye.

Betty: Who is that guy?

Brad: He's like Iron Man and Thor rolled into one.

"That is incorrect, I have never been more insulted" Thor said in an insulted tone

"Ouch, Thor, that hurt"

Flash: (scoffs) He's all right. He's no Spider-Man.

"I hate Spider-Man" Flash grumbled

MJ: What is it with you and Spider-Man?

Flash: What? He's just awesome, okay? He protects the neighborhood, and you know, he's inspiring. He inspires me to be a better man.

"I never so much crap in my life" A jock said

At this point, Peter renters the cluster of students.

Flash: [toward Peter] 'Sup dickwad? I thought you drowned.

This caused a few laughs since Flash was just going on about how much he loved Spider-Man

(woman on television speaking Italian)

Brad: Sounds like his name's Mysterio.

MJ: L'uomo del misterio is Italian for man of mystery. They don't actually know who he is.

Ned: Mysterio...

Betty and Ned: Cool name

Betty And Ned: Babe!

Peter: (to MJ) So, how much did you actually see?

MJ: Not much... I was running.

Peter: Right. me too. I was also running...away.

"He's so awkward"

Peter: So, Paris tomorrow. Go to the Eiffel Tower. Should be great.

MJ: I read it was secretly built as a mind control antenna to create an army of the insane.

Peter: oh...

MJ: Which is why it's my favorite destination on the whole trip.

"I start liking you more and more as this movie goes on MJ"

~NED AND PETER'S SHARED HOTEL ROOM~

Ned: What are you gonna do about the water monster?

Peter: Nothing. it's dead. And besides, that Mysterio guy's all over it. Look... I just wanna spend some time with MJ. We were talking about Paris and... I think she really likes me.

Ned: That's nice. Reminds me of when Betty and I first fell in love. I had just finished my first fruit cobbler, right-

"It's Fury, I bet my life on it" Tony grumbled

[Ned is hit with a dart in the neck by Nick Fury - who sits in a shaded corner of the room in a chair.]

Nick Fury: You're a very difficult person to contact, Spider-Man.

Peter: You're Nick Fury. You just shot Ned.

"Great observation kid"

Nick Fury: It's just a mild tranquilizer. He'll be all right. So good to finally meet you. I saw you at the funeral, but I didn't think that was a good time to exchange numbers.

"Whose funeral?" Brad asked

The Avengers didn't say a word

"I think it was Iron Man's" Betty whispered

Peter: No, that would have been really inappropriate

Nick Fury: That's what I just said.

"Was it though"

Peter: Right.

Nick Fury: The important thing is, you're here. I tried to bring you here. You avoided me, and now, you're here. What a coincidence.

Peter: Wait. Was this a coincidence?

"Nothing's a coincidence when Nick Fury is in the room" Natasha stated

Nick Fury: I used to know everything. Then, I come back five years later and now, I know nothing. No intel, no team, and a high school kid is dodging my calls.

"You deserve it" Tony whispered under his breath

"What was that Stark?"

"What was what?"

Nick Fury: Here's what I do know... a week ago, a village in Mexico was wiped out by a cyclone. Witnesses say that cyclone had a face.

(Ned snores loudly)

Nick Fury: Three days later, a similar event in Morocco. A village was-

(a knock on the door cuts Fury off)

Mr. Harrington: Just making the rounds. See if anyone needs any emotional counseling after today's traumatic event.

Fury points his gun towards the door, hidden behind the wall so Mr. Harrington can't see him.

"Don't you dare shoot him"

Peter: No. we're... we're okay. We're fine, thank you.

Mr. Harrington: Great. Cause I'm not qualified to actually...

(Ned snores)

Mr. Harrington: Oh, he's passed out. I'm not really qualified to do it anyway, so... good night.

Peter: That was my teacher, sorry about that. You were saying?

Nick Fury: A village was destroyed by what may well be another world threatening...

(Fury is cut off again by another knock)

"HA!"

Betty: Babe? You still awake? You're not answering any of my texts.

Peter: Um... he's asleep, Betty.

Betty: Oh, already?

Peter: Mh-hmm. Yeah.

Betty: Okay

Nick Fury: That's why it's imperative--

(Once more, another knock stops Fury.)

Mr. Dell: Hey, boys! That canal water today was filled with dangerous bacteria...

Nick Fury: (annoyed) Another person touches that door, you and I are going to attend another funeral. Suit up.

"Ooh, someone is angry"

Mr. Dell (in the backgrounds, still talking): ...let me know if either of you are vomiting--

[Fury and Peter (who is in his Spider-Suit) are now seen on a boat]

Nick Fury: Stark left these for you. (He hands Peter a small case)

Peter: Really>

Peter opens the case to reveal a pair of glasses. The velvet lining of the case behind the glasses says "Stark Industries".

"I gave him E.D.I.T.H.?"

"Who's Edith?"

"The Glasses, it's an acronym like J.A.R.V.I.S. and F.R.I.D.A.Y."

"What do they even stand for?"

"Well, F.R.I.D.A.Y. stands for Female Replacement Intelligent Digital Assistant Youth, and J.A.R.V.I.S. stands for Just A Rather Very Intelligent System."

"And E.D.I.T.H.?"

"Even Dead I'm The Hero"

"Nice"

Nick Fury: "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." (He looks at Peter) Stark said you wouldn't get that because it's not a Star Wars reference. (He scoffs)

Tony shook his head

~CUT TO PETER AND FURY WALKING INTO AN UNDERGROUND BASE~

Fury: (to Peter) You can lose the mask. Everyone here's seen you without it. You'd only be feigning anonymity and breathing through spandex for no good reason.

(Peter pulls off his mask, taking in a deep breath)

Fury: Come on.

Peter: (quietly) Yeah.

Fury: Over there we have Maria Hill. That is Dimitri.

(Dimitri cocks his gun)

Fury: And this is Mr. Beck.

A man wearing a cape turns around. We recognize his outfit as that of Mysterio.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Tony yelled "I KNOW HIM!! HE USED TO WORK FOR ME!!"

The crowd stared at Tony with astonishment. They were all thinking the same thing "how could Mysterio have worked for Tony Stark?"

Peter: Mysterio?

Quentin Beck: What?

Peter: Doesn't matter. It's just what my friends have been calling you.

Quentin Beck: Well, you can call me Quentin. (He holds out his hand for Peter to shake)

"Quentin, Quentin, Quentin Beck! I remember now! He created some sort of illusion System right before the Accords!" Tony yelled out

(Peter shakes his hand)

Quentin Beck: You handled yourself well out there today. I saw what you did with the tower. We could use someone like you on my world.

Peter: (softly) Thanks. I'm sorry. Your world?

Fury: Mr. Beck is from Earth. Just not yours.

Beck: There are multiple realities, Peter. This is Earth, Dimension 616. I'm from Earth 833.

Peter: (excitedly) I'm sorry, you're saying there's a multiverse? 'Cause I thought that was just theoretical. That completely changes how we understand the initial singularity. We're talking about an internal inflation system and how does that even work with all the quantum--? It's insane—

"I didn't understand a word that came out of his mouth, did you?

"Nope"

(Peter realizes everyone has turned to look at him, unamused)

Peter: S-sorry. It's really cool. (he turns back to Beck)

"Don't be sorry for being the smartest person in the room" Tony said

Beck: Don't ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room.

(Peter smiles)

Agent Hill: Anyway...

A hologram appears on the table.

Beck: They were born in stable orbits within black holes. Creatures formed from the primary elements: Air, water, fire, earth. The Science Division had a technical name. We just called them Elementals.

Agent Hill: Versions of them exist across our mythologies.

Beck: Turns out, the myths are real.

Peter: Like Thor. Thor was a myth and now I study him in my physics class.

Laughter erupted in the room

"I do not understand" Thor looked around confused

Fury: These myths are threats.

"Like Percy Jackson" A blond boy said

"SHH! Jason, you'll give him away"

Beck: They first materialized on my earth many years ago. We mobilized and fought them, but with each battle they grew, got stronger. I was part of the last battalion left trying to stop them. All we did was delay the inevitable.

Agent Hill: The Elementals are here now, attacking the same coordinates. Our satellites confirm it.

Fury: So thank Mr. Beck for destroying the other three. There's only one left: fire.

Beck: The strongest of them all. The one that destroyed my Earth. It's the one that took my family.

Peter: I'm sorry.

Agent Hill: And it will be in Prague in approximately 48 hours.

Fury: We have one mission: kill it. (to Peter) And you're coming with us.

Peter: I'm sorry. Did you say Prague? (laughs nervously) Mr. Fury, this all seems like bigtime, you know, huge superhero kinda stuff. And, I mean, I'm just a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, sir.

Fury: Bitch, please. You've been to space.

"HE'S BEEN TO SPACE!" Everyone yelled

Peter: I know, but that was an accident.

"An accident? Kid, I sent you back with a parachute you decided to stay. And then you almost got killed, then you really almost got killed, then you dusted, and I beat myself up about it. An accident my ass"

Peter: Sir, come on. There's gotta be someone else you can use. What about Thor?

Fury: Off-world.

"Ok, Scarlet Witch" Tony said

Peter: Okay, um, Doctor Strange.

Agent Hill: Unavailable.

"So, Black Panther" Sam stated (I'm gonna cry rn RIP KING #WAKANDA4EVER)

Peter: Captain Marvel.

Fury: Don't invoke her name.

"OOH, someone don't like you Carol" Natasha smirked

Carol turned her gaze from Natasha and glared at Fury

Peter: Sir, look, I really wanna help, I do. But if my aunt finds out that I left my class trip, she's gonna kill me. And if I'm seen like this in Europe, after the Washington Monument, my whole class will figure out who I am and then-- and then the whole world will figure out who I am, then I'm done.

Fury: Okay. I understand.

"WHAT!?" the Avengers asked incredulously

Peter: I'm sorry, what?

"He doesn't believe it either"

Fury: Why don't you get back before your teachers miss you and become suspicious. Dimitri. Take him back to hotel, please.

Peter: Thank you, Mr. Fury. And, uh, good luck.

"Mr. Fury" Tony said mimicking his son

Beck: See ya, kid.

Peter: Yeah, see you. (to Agent Hill) Bye, ma'am.

"So polite, who ever called you ma'am before Maria?"

"Uh, no one"

Agent Hill: Yeah.

Try to imagine the questions in everyone's head.

You did great.

"What. Just. Happened?" Brad asked

"I don't know" MJ answered

"Did Fury really back down?" Tony asked in complete shock

"I doubt it" Clint responded

~CUT TO OUTSIDE THE HOTEL THE NEXT DAY~

Betty: (talking to Ned) Okay, drink lots of water and I'm gonna get you a vitamin C pill. You cannot get sick, okay?

Ned: Okay. Thanks baby.

Peter: (exiting hotel) Hey, man. Are you sure you're good?

Ned: Oh, dude, I'm fine.

Peter: Okay.

Ned: Seriously, getting tranq'd in the neck by Nick Fury, probably the coolest thing to ever happen to me anyway.

Peter: It is pretty awesome.

Ned: Yeah.

They do a secret handshake.

"that's cute"

Peter: I'm just happy I don't have to go to Prague.

Ned: Seriously.

Mr. Harrison: (exiting the hotel) Good news! We're going to Prague! Huh!

"WHAT!"

"FURY I AM GOING TO KILL YOU"

"I THOUGHT HE SAID NO!"

"SON OF A BITCH"

Peter: What?

Students: Prague?

Mr. Harrison: Yeah. Tour company called. They upgraded us. You should've heard me on the phone with them. I really gave them hell. All I heard was crying.

"Fury, I hate you" Carol and Tony said together in unison


	7. Awkward Moments in Bathrooms

~CUT TO STUDENTS ROUNDING CORNER OF BUILDING~

Mr. Harrison: Look at our upgraded ride!

Ned: Peter, wha-- What's going on?

Peter: I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation.

"That's exactly what happened" Tony grumbled "and he's gonna pay big time for it"

The camera cuts to a large black bus. Dimitri is standing beside it with a sign that says "Midtown High".

Mr. Harrington: (holding out his hand to Dimitri) I'm uh, Mr. Harrington to the kids, uh... (Dimitri doesn't respond) Okay.

They board the bus.

Ned: Awesome.

Peter: (unenthusiastically) Yeah. Awesome.

~EASTERN ALPS, AUSTRIA, AN OVERHEAD SHOT OF THE BUS DRIVING DOWN A LONG WINDING ROAD SURROUNDED BY TREES~

Flash Thompson: (live-streaming on his phone) Yo, what's up Flash Mob? It's your boy, the big F. (Dimitri looks mildly annoyed) Cruisin' through the Alps with my private driver, Dimitri.

(A shot of Peter's phone shows him reading an article titled Top 10 Romantic Places in Prague)

"He's still at it"

Peter catches sight of the glasses case Fury had given him. He pulls it from his bag and opens it, putting on the Tony Stark-style glasses. He pulls out a note, reading it.

Peter: (reading aloud) "For the next Tony Stark, I trust you. (P.S.) say "Edith" (-T.S.)

"That's a moving message" Tasha said with a smirk

The glasses light up.

EDITH: Stand by for retinal and biometric scan. (a scan of Peter's face appears) Retinal and biometric scan accepted.

"Talking glasses. That's not creepy at all" MJ said

Peter: Hello?

EDITH: Hello, Peter. I am EDITH, Tony Stark's augmented-reality security and defense system.

Peter: Huh. So, he made you for me?

"No"

EDITH: No. But you have access to all of Tony's protocols.

"SERIOUSLY" Flash asked

"WHAT!"

Now there was no way someone with all Tony Starks tech and trust could be a villain.

Peter: Cool.

EDITH: would you like to see what I can do? EDITH stands for "Even dead, I'm the hero." Tony loves his acronyms.

"I am dead, and I am the hero"

"Yes, you are. Now don't get to cocky"

Peter: [chuckles] Yeah, he did.

EDITH: I have access to the entire Stark Global Security network including multiple defense satellites as well as back does to all major telecommunication networks.

[an image of what each person on the bus is doing on their phone shows]

Mr. Dell: [The History of Witchcraft]

"This is sure gonna be embarrasing"

Student: [text: Hey Mom, Venice was crazy! Can you transfer me more money?]

Mr. Harrison: [text: Looks like things are finally looking up! Finally some good luck]

Dimitri: [[encrypted]]

"Of course it's encrypted"

Brad: [internet search: Prague romantic...]

Flash: [text: Mother, have not heard from you or father in days]

Peter: Is MJ texting? No. Don't look at it. That's–that's wrong. That's wrong.

[He looks over at Ned and Betty who are sitting right next to each other]

Ned: [text: Miss you]

Betty: [text: Miss you more]

People just stared at the screen slightly confused.

Peter looks slightly bemused.

[The bus pulls up to a rest stop]

Dimitri: [exiting the bus] Petrol and toilets. Ten minutes!

Flash: [live streaming] Flash Mob, this is what we doing out here...

Mr. Dell: (frantically) Toilet, toilet, toilet. Which way to the toilet?

Mr. Harrison: Ten minutes everyone! Dimitri, where exactly are we? [Dimitri doesn't respond] Okay, I'll figure it out.

"Great driver Fury, you couldn't have picked anyone else?" Clint asked

Betty: Oh my gosh, it's so sick. It's beautiful.

[Peter exits the bus but is stopped by Dimitri]

Peter: What?

[Dimitri gestures to a building with an open door where a stern looking woman in all black is waiting]

"This is sketchy, I don't like it"

[Cut to Peter entering the building cautiously]

Peter: (nervously) Hello.

Female Agent: (slight accent) Close the door.

"I don't like her" Rhodey whispered

[Peter closes the door]

Peter: Um...I'm Peter Parker [he holds out his hand for the woman to shake]

Female Agent: [not shaking his hand] Take off your clothes.

"Excuse me?! What!" Tony yelled

Peter: (looking uncomfortable) Excuse me?

"I'm disturbed with this right now"

Female Agent: You told Fury Spider-Man cannot be seen in Europe. So I made you this [she grabs a black folded suit from her bag] another suit.

Peter: Oh, uh, thank you. [he takes the suit] I'm sure it fits fine I don't need to try–

Female Agent: (insistently) Take off your clothes.

Peter: Okay... [he sets down his backpack] Sure. [he begins to unbutton his pants] It's a little embarrassing.

"This isn't going to end well" Ned muttered under his breathe

Agent: Now! Hurry up!

"CHILL LADY!"

Peter: [unzipping pants] This is weird. [pulls pants down]

"Yes, it is, Fury you better watch your back because soon you'll have an arrow sticking out of it" Clint said threateningly

"Excuse me agent?"

"Technically I'm not an agent since S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't exist, sooo, I don't have to listen to you"

And frankly there was nothing Fury could say to that because Clint was right.

And everyone was wondering how Spider-Man was so close to the Avengers

[The door opens and Brad enters. The agent reaches for her gun. Peter quickly stops her from shooting Brad.

Peter: No, no, no. Don't–

"That's gotta be embarrassing"

"You're kidding right?"

Brad: Woah!

Peter: Uh...

Brad: Sorry? Uh, I thought this was the bathroom.

Peter: [panicked] Thus is not what it looks like. Just–

Brad: Yeah [takes a picture]

Peter: What're you doing?

Brad: I'll leave you two alone.

"Poor kid"

[The agent pulls out her gun and points it at Brad's back as he leaves]

Peter: Oh my god. Don't shoot anybody! Brad! [pulling up his pants as he runs out the door] It's not what it looks like, buddy!

[He follows Brad outside, zipping up his pants]

Peter: Hey, man, look, that's–

Brad: Look, Peter, I'm not here to judge your life's choices, dude. If you wanna book up with some random European chick on our school trip, that's on you.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT IT WAS!"

Brad had the nerve to be embarrassed oops he thought

Peter: No, that's not what that was. Honestly.

Brad: I can't pretend I didn't see what I just saw. I know you're trying to get with MJ. It's obvious. But I like her too.

"NOOOOO!"

"I REFUSE"

Peter: Wait a minute. Hey, hey. You cannot show her that photo, dude. C'mon.

Brad: I'm sorry, man. I have to. She deserves the truth. [he turns to walk back to the bus]

"Son of a bi" Steve said surprising the original six

"Don't you dare do that" Shuri warned

"I will kill you" Bucky spat acidly

Mr. Dell: [exiting the bathroom] Okay, our your one door in front of the other, and everybody back on the bus.

Mr. Harrison: It's been ten minutes. Let's go!

[Peter looks frustrated]

"He has the right to be frustrated


	8. Let's Think this Through Please, I Don't Wanna Die

~CUT TO BACK ON THE BUS~ 

[Peter looks to the back of the bus, where he sees Brad on his phone. He turns back, and pulls out E.D.I.T.H.]

Peter Parker: E.D.I.T.H.?

"Yes Peter" every single person named Edith in the room answered

E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter. How can I help you?

Peter Parker: Hey! Um... there's this guy in my class who's cutting in on everything I wanna do with MJ...

"AWW he's such a love sick puppy its adorable"

"Alya you need to stop fangirling!"

"But Marinette its fun"

E.D.I.T.H.: Peter, I'm having difficulty hearing you. Can you please speak up?

"I don't why this is funny!"

"It's not, stop laughing"

Peter Parker: Um... Brad Davis, he has a photo of me?

"If that's what you wanna call it"

E.D.I.T.H.: Brad Davis. Is he a target?

"No, he isn't a target, Peter think this though" Tony begged

Peter Parker: "Is he a target?" Um...

[Peter peeks his head around the seat to look at Brad. He's on his phone, the picture with Peter and the agent clearly displayed alongside it. He looks over to MJ and then returns to his seated position.]

Peter Parker: Yeah. He's a target, he's a target.

"NOOO!"

"Tony calm down"

"HE DOESNT KNOW HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS!"

E.D.I.T.H.: Copy that. Target is Brad Davis. Initiating strike.

"Well shoot" 

"Todd..."

"What Mom, I didn't curse"

Peter Parker: [surprised] Initiating what now?

"My question exactly"

E.D.I.T.H.: Intercept point determined. Releasing field vehicle.

"I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!"

"ME TOO!"

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?!"

"I DONT KNOW!"

"Shut up, please, for our sakes, shut the fuck up"

Peter Parker: E.D.I.T.H.-

[Cut to a Stark Industries satellite in space. It releases something which drops into the atmosphere, burning up on entry and eventually revealing itself to be a weaponized drone. From the drone's HUD, we clearly see Brad Davis displayed as a target.]

"That's cool"

[Cut back to the bus. Peter pulls off the E.D.I.T.H. glasses in shock.]

Peter Parker: Oh, my God...

[Flash reaches over and grabs the glasses out of his hand.]

"That did not just happen"

Flash Thompson: Dope glasses Parker, how'd you pay for these?

"Why is that a question you ask?"

[Peter frantically looks back and forth between Flash and the back of the bus, where the drone would be aiming, while trying to take the glasses back]

Peter Parker: Flash, give 'em back. Give me the- Flash-

"Why do I have the feeling that this isn't going to end well?"

"Uh, cuz it isn't?"

Flash Thompson: No, no, no. I'm really paying you a compliment.

[Flash looks earnestly at Peter while fending off his reaching attempts to get the glasses]

Peter Parker: Please, give me the-

[Peter accidentally smacks Flash and knocks him out. He stares for a moment in shock]

"YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" The entire student body of Midtown High yelled in unison

"HEY!" Flash yelled

Peter Parker: I'm so sorry.

[Peter reaches over and reclaims the glasses, hurriedly shoving them on]

Peter Parker: E.D.I.T.H., don't kill Brad.

"Aw, that's sweet"

[Cut to E.D.I.T.H. glasses HUD as Peter looks at Brad. The HUD is danger red and displays information about the bus at the bottom along with a small image of Brad in the right corner]

E.D.I.T.H.: Peter, would you like me to cancel the drone strike on Brad Davis?

"Yes, please, do that"

[Peter starts to nod]

Classmate: Did you just punch Flash?

"Oh god"

Peter Parker: No.

"OH MY GODS!"

"Leo, shhhh"

E.D.I.T.H.: Firing.

"SHIT!" most of the theater yelled

[Peter quickly turns and webs the wheel of the bus, causing it to swerve and a bullet from the drone to go through the side mirror]

"Dmitri's face though!" 

"That was super dangerous"

Mr. Dell: Woah, look out! [specifically about the swerving, not about the bullet]

"Because he didn't notice the bullet"

[Cut to outer view of the bus as it swerves wildly across the road, denting the side rail and nearly crashing into the side of the mountain]

"Peter Parker is a walking disaster"

[Cut back to inside the bus]

Mr. Dell: Aaa, this is not the autobahn!

"I'm confusion" 

Peter Parker: E.D.I.T.H.-

[Peter puts a hand up to where the side of the E.D.I.T.H. glasses should be, realizing that they fell off. Looking around frantically, he grabs them from the bus steps and quickly puts them back on]

"That's bad, stop it kid, stop the strike!"

"HE'S TRYING DAD! SHUT UP!"

E.D.I.T.H.: Commencing second strike.

"NO!"

Mr. Harrington: Peter, plant your fanny in that seat and buckle up right now.

"Fanny? Seriously?"

[Peter points out the window, in an effort to distract him]

Peter Parker: Look at the baby mountain goats!

"That's what he chose"

Mr. Harrington: Baby mountain goats?! Ooh!

[Mr. Harrington and the entire rest of the class turn and look out that side of the bus]

"Well it worked"

[Cut to an aerial, slow-motion view of the bus as Peter leaps straight up through the emergency hatch at the top, hands forming the classic Spiderman web-shooting pose. A red light flashes on the drone as it prepares to fire again. Before it has the chance, Peter webs both the drone's guns over and then the drone itself to a large, passing boulder. This causes several small explosions on the drone before it snaps free from the rock, careening into the road where it explodes and smashes into pieces.]

"THAT WAS SO COOL!"

"Wow"

"I'm speechless"

"That slow-mo was epic"

"HE TRIED TO KILL ME!"

"Brad calm down"

[Cut back to the bus at normal speed where Peter drops back down, pulling the hatch closed behind him just in time for the rest of his class to turn back and stop searching for goats]

"He looks so done with everything"

Mr. Harrington: Don't see any mountain goats.

[Peter, panting slightly and now with very windswept hair]

"His hair is priceless"

Peter Parker: You missed them.

"Sad excuse, Peter when I see you again Mama Spider is gonna teach you how to lie better"

Betty Brant: I know you think none of us have noticed, Peter.

[Both Peter and Ned look slightly panicked]

Peter Parker: What?

Betty Brant: But your new look? I love it. Right babe?

"Wow, that scared the hell out of me" Ned said

Peter Parker: Thanks.

[Distinctly relieved, Peter collapses back into his seat]

"Completely done with the world"

Ned Leeds: Yeah. Sophisticated, classy, very European.

Peter Parker: (under his breath) Oh, man. Whoo. (normal volume) Let's try that again.

"Yes, let's"

~~~~~~~~

[Cut to Brad's phone as he quickly flips through his camera roll, expression confused and disbelieving]

"OMG BRAD YOUR FACE!"

"Shut it Daniel" 

Brad Davis: Uh, this is so weird. It was right here on my phone. I- I-

MJ: Yeah, weird.

[MJ glances up toward Peter as the camera cuts to show his head stuck out in the aisle before he quickly pulls back]

"Totally not obvious"

[Cut to Flash as he wakes up, moving his jaw and putting his hand to his cheek, right where Peter accidentally knocked him out]

Flash Thompson: Ow.

The students burst out laughing. 

Flash turned red from embarrassment and looked away"


	9. A Bored Peter Thinks About Kidnappings

Cut to outside the bus as it pulls past a parking lot. The screen then fades to display a large building in the city with a large mural commemorating Tony Stark before panning down to show the street, just as the bus passes by. The words "PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC" appear in white across the screen before fading as the camera pans up to show the city in a state of celebration, the sky now dark.]

[Cut to a quieter street where the bus pulls into a parking spot outside another large building]

[Cut to inside the building, where two men in suits pull open the doors for the class. The camera switches vantage points, showing the large, fancy reception area of the hotel, which even includes a grand piano and piano man]

"Now THATS an upgrade"

"I think I might forgive Fury"

"Don't"

"OK, I wont"

Fury glared at the now smirking Avengers

Betty Brant: Wow, this place is so classy.

Classmate: Yeah, so why are we here?

"I like this guy"

"THANKS!"

Flash Thompson: [cocky] Speak for yourself. [chuckles] I'm home. [turns back to his phone where he's obviously gone back to vlogging]

"COCKY BASTARD GO DIE!"

"EXCUSE ME!"

"Sorry mate" The boy said, obviously not sorry

Mr. Harrington: What can I say? The squeaky wheel gets the upgrade grease. Uh, everyone get settled in, rest up because tonight, big surprise, is Prague's annual...

[Peter's phone buzzes]

"Perfect timing"

Mr. Harrington: Carnival of lights!

"YAYAYAYAYAY!"

[Mr. Harrington gestures excitedly to a poster advertising the festival. Peter walks a little ways away to answer his phone]

Peter Parker: Hello?

"HI!"

Maria Hill: Parker, it's Hill. There's an earpiece with your suit. Put in on and await further instructions. Understood?

"I mean that is pretty straight forward"

Peter Parker: Uh, yes, ma'am.

Maria Hill: Yeah.

[Ned hurries over and throughout their conversation, they send quick glances back towards their class]

Ned Leeds: Hey, man. Look, I am so sorry if I seem preoccupied with my relationship. You know, I'm still your guy in the chair.

"Because that was what he was worried about"

Peter Parker: No, no, it's all good. Don't worry about it.

Ned Leeds: Okay. Great, great.

Peter Parker: It's fine.

Ned Leeds: So, what's the status on the whole Elemental thing? Where's it going to happen?

"Here"

Peter Parker: Uh, here in the city

Ned Leeds: Peter, we're here.

"No? Really?"

Peter Parker: I know, I know. It's not good. It's- I'm figuring it out.

Ned Leeds: You have to do something, Peter, please. We're all counting on you.

Betty Brant: [calling from back where the class has now clustered around Mr. Harrington as he shows them something] Ned.

Ned Leeds: Yeah. Yeah, babe.

[He hurries back over to the rest of the class]

Mr. Harrington: The good news is, we've all got our own rooms.

"LUCKY!"

[As the class around Mr. Harrington exclaims in surprise and joy, Peter stares off into the distance, thinking and worrying about the elemental]

Nick Fury: (O.S.) Parker? Parker!

[Peter startles and turns around as we cut to a makeshift S.H.I.E.L.D. base.]

Peter Parker: Yes, sir?

Nick Fury: That thing's going to be here in a few hours. Are we boring you?

"Most likely"

Quentin Beck: He's not bored, he's just thinking about how you kidnapped him.

"That's a nice way to put it"

Nick Fury: He had obstacles. I removed them.

"EXCUSE ME! US OBSTACLES?!"

And suddenly the whole room hated Nicholas J. Fury 

Maria Hill: They still won't evacuate the city.

"WHY!? IDIOTS!"

Nick Fury: (groans) Idiots. So what's the plan, Parker?

"you're asking him?"

Peter Parker: I will be in the cathedral tower keeping watch for the fire monster. When that shows up, I will radio you guys, and then Mr. Beck and I will-

Quentin Beck: My name is Mysterio.

[Quentin shoots Peter a playful look. Peter chuckles under his breath.]

"They look like best friends"

Peter Parker: That's when Mysterio and I will move in.

Quentin Beck: Peter, listen to me. The best hope you have -- the only hope -- is to stop it here and now, no matter what the cost. Keep it away from civilians if you can, but, most important, keep it away from metal. If it gets too big, it'll be able to draw power from the Earth's core. After that, there's no way to stop it.

"He's trying way too hard to sell this lie of his" Natasha said disapprovingly 

"Well it worked" Clint said

Unfortunately"

[Peter briefly shares a glance with Fury.]

Peter Parker: Hey, man, my friends are here? And I can't help but think we're putting them in danger-

[Fury stands up and walks over to Peter.]

Nick Fury: You're worried about us hurting your friends? You? Who called a drone strike on your own school tour bus? Stark gave you a multi-billion dollar AR tactical intelligence system and the first thing you do with it? Is try and blow up your friends. It's clear to me that you were not ready for this!

"Fury...I am going to kill you"

"Me too"

"Ditto"

"You better watch your back"

"HE'S JUST A KID! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

"IT WAS A MISTAKE YOU BASTARD!"

[We cut to Peter, sitting alone on a rooftop. Mysterio flies up towards him with his helmet on]

Quentin Beck: Look, Fury asked me to come up here and see how you were doing. He just, he felt bad about snapping at you.

"I don't believe it"

"Me either"

Peter Parker: (hopeful) Really?

"Aww, he actually thought-"

Quentin Beck: You guys do have sarcasm on this earth, right?

"That's a little too much dude"

[Beck sits down, right next to Peter]

Quentin Beck: How you feelin'?

"Like shit"

Peter Parker: I didn't think I was gonna have to save the world this summer. I know that makes me sound like such a jerk. I just... I had this plan with this girl that I really like, and...now it's all ruined.

"You're not a jerk Peter, you went through so much. You don't have to save the world" Tony said soflty

Quentin Beck: (sympathetically) You're not a jerk for wanting a normal life, kid. It's a hard path. You see things, you do things... Make choices. People look up to you... Even if you win a battle sometimes, they die. I like you, Peter. You're a good kid. There's a part of me that wants me to tell you, just... turn around, run away from all this. And then, there's another part of me that knows what we're about to fight. What's at stake. And I'm glad you're here.

"OH COME ON! THAT ISNT EVEN CONVINCING!" 

"That is trying too hard" Okoye agreed

Peter Parker: Me, too. (worried tone) But...

Quentin Beck: (friendly) You're worried about your friends.

Peter Parker: Yeah. I just always feel like I'm putting them in danger.

"YOU ARE!"

"SHUT UP!"

Quentin Beck: Look, just... Get them inside and keep them in a safe place, for just a few hours. It'll be all right.

Peter Parker: It's really nice... to have somebody to talk to about, superhero stuff, you know?

"HELLO!? EXCUSE ME!"

"Tony...you died"

"Oh, right. I rest my case"

"Is he like not afraid that he died?" someone asked the person sitting next to him

Quentin Beck: Anytime. And hey... (jokingly) We survive this, you'll have all summer to kill Brad.

"HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"

The student body at Midtown High started dying of laughter

"YOUR FACE BRAD! YOUR FACE!"

"Shut Michael" 

[Peter and Quentin chuckle. Peter grabs his backpack.]

Peter Parker: See you out there.

Quentin Beck: Alright.

[Peter jumps off the building and lands on the floor. An old couple takes notice and looks at him.]

"Whoops"

Peter Parker: Scusi! Sorry, that's Italian...

"And for some reason this line in funny"

[Peter pulls the E.D.I.T.H. glasses out of his bag]

Peter Parker: Okay, uh, E.D.I.T.H.?

[The glasses initialize and Peter waits impatiently.]

E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter.

Peter Parker: Hey! Uh... I need to find out a way to keep my friends inside for the next few hours.

E.D.I.T.H.: Let's see what we can do.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. IT WAS HIM WHO SENT US TO THE OPERA!?"


	10. OK SO NOW THERE'S A LAVA MONSTER!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the script has finally been updated and i have been able to write reactions

[Cut to the class in the hotel lobby. Some students have glow sticks in preparation for the Carnival of Lights.]

Mr. Harrington: Good news. We're going to the opera!

"The Opera?! How is that good news?"

"Don't look at me"

[Students dressed up in glowsticks look confused]

"What are they wearing?"

"SSSHH WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE CARNIVAL OF LIGHTS!"

Some students: The opera?

Some other students: What?

At least one student: You're kidding me.

At least one student: Why?

Mr. Dell: Don't look at me.

All most the entire theater looked in his direction

MJ: What happened to the carnival

"Ahh, good question" 

"Shh"

"Deja Vu much?"

"Shut it Frostbite"

"Whatever you say Cotton Tail" 

Mr. Harrington: Oh, this is upgrade living guys

"It's really...not"

[Cut to a shot of Ned looking back at Peter. Peter, with his widened eyes and slow nodding, gestures to Ned that this was his doing.]

"What is he doing with his eyes?"

Mr. Harrington: The tour company just gave us these tickets...For Free! Do you have any idea how much Opera tickets cost?

"No because why would we just google Opera Tickets?" A girl named Christina asked her blond haired friend

"Well they're around 25 to 200 dollars" Her boyfriend Will said

Flash: No, because none of us has ever wanted to go to the opera...ever

Ned Leeds: Uh.... Well I think this will be culturally enriching for us

There was silence. 

"Wow"

"Smooth, mate"

[Mr. Harrington points at Ned.]

Mr. Harrington: Thank you, Ned. Everyone, this is gonna be, maybe, the best four hours of our whole trip.

"FOUR HOURS!? THAT IS TORTURE!" 

All students, except Peter Parker and Ned Leeds: Four hours?

Ned Leeds: Guys I think this is going to be really fun. Seriously.

"You're trying to hard to sell it"

[Cut to the class walking through the streets of Prague, with Mr. Harrington leading the group. The whole class is dressed in formal attire, heading toward the opera theatre. There are fireworks in the sky and a huge crowd of people in costumes walking around.]

Mr. Harrington: I bet now you're all happy that I made you pack a nice outfit

"Nope!" 

Flash: yeah because we'd much rather go to a four hour opera instead of the biggest party of the year!

"I have to agree with Flash on this one"

Mr. Dell: Again don't look at me.

All heads turned to Mr. Dell

[We see Peter and MJ walking beside each other, with Brad walking behind them.]

Maria Hill: (over radio) Parker, do you copy? Comm check, one, two.

"You know what confuses me? It's that no one realized that he's Spider-Man before"

"Ryuzaki, the kids are idiots. Now can you please sit normally?"

"I've told you already Light-Kun I cannot sit any other way or my probability rate goes down by 40%" 

"Bullshit! And you're not investigating anything now!"

[Brad looks at MJ and looks at Peter suspiciously.]

"Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious" 

"HOLY SHIT BRAD YOUR FACE!"

[Cut to the opera theatre. The seats are barely filled. The seats that are filled are occupied by elderly people. The class enters the theatre. They pause briefly.]

Mr. Harrington: ok here we are. Beat the rush.

"What rush? a spiky red haired dude asked

"Kirishima you idiot"

"What?" 

"It's sarcasm"

"oh"

Mr. Dell: Yeah the rush out.

Mr. Harrington: lucky for us, we got the best seat in the house!

[The class begins walking toward their assigned seats, which are at the front of the theatre.]

[Everyone looks super annoyed, Flash is on his phone]

"Flash is me right now"

"I cant believe you just said that"

"Me neither"

Brad Davis: Hey. (pointing toward their seats) I'll save you a seat.

"Why does this remind me Kaminari and Shinsou?" a blond-haired boy said with a smirk

"SHUT UP BAKUGOU!" 

Brad walks away. MJ makes an awkward smile. Peter enters the theatre just behind her. Peter walks up slowly right next to her. The orchestra can be heard tuning.]

Peter Parker: You look really pretty.

"Subtle" 

"Whoever keeps saying that needs to shut up!"

MJ: And therefore I have value?

"That backfired" a man said. The blond haired man sitting next to him smirked and opened his mouth

"No pun intended" The black haired man said quickly

The man pouted "Aww Hot Stuff you ruined my fun"

"Shut it you overgrown pigeon"

Peter Parker: No. No, that's not what I meant at all. I was just...

"He looks so flustered" Sam howled with laughter

MJ: I'm messing with you.

"Thank god, I thought she was serious" 

"Of course you did Midoriya" 

[Peter and MJ both share a chuckle.]

MJ: Thank you.

Peter Parker: You're welcome.

MJ: You look pretty too.

"AWWWW!"

Peter Parker: Thank you.

"AWKWARD SILENCE!"

[Their awkwardness is interrupted by Betty and Ned, who just entering the theatre.]

Betty Brant: Oh My Gosh Opera Glasses

"YOU RUINED THE MOMENT!

"Holly! Hold her back before she kills someone!"

"NO! I DID IT LAST TIME! YOU DO IT!"

"NO!"

"Fine! But you're helping me!"

"Ava, Calm down. It's fine! They end up kissing in the end anyway!" 

Ned Leeds: So cute!

"They're really...not"

"Honey lemon, stop doing that"

Betty Brant: Can I...?

[We cut back to Peter and MJ only.]

MJ: Wanna go in on a pair?

"EVERYONE SHUT UP! MY OTP IS HAPPENING!"

"Ava, calm down"

Peter Parker: You mean let's sit next to each other?

"YYYEEEESSSS!"

Ava, shut up!"

"Sorry Celia"

MJ: yeah

Nick Fury: (to Peter, over radio) Are you in position?

"Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it.."

Peter Parker: No

"THERE IT IS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" 

"Cub, shut up"

Alex stuck his tongue out at the man behind him 

"America is a free country Wolf, I can do what I want"

Wolf looked at the other's in his unit for help 

"Sorry Mate, you brought this on yourself"

"Thanks Eagle, you're great help"

"I'm always here for you mate"

MJ: OK no

"NO NO NO NO NO!"

"Tony, calm down"

Nick Fury: (over radio) Why the hell not?

"BECAUSE HE'S UNAVAILABLE!"

MJ: -you don't want to sit next to me?

"No no MJ. He wants to sit next to you! He wasn't talking to you!" 

"I know that now idiot"

Nick Fury: Parker?

MJ: Or no you just don't want the glasses?

[Peter try to take out the comm link]

Peter Parker: I didn't mean that I uh, if you go ahead, uh I'll go grab us a pair

"Awww!"

MJ: I will save you a seat, next to me because...

"They are so so so awkward it's not functionally normal!"

Peter Parker: Awesome 

[Peter and MJ nod.]

MJ: Okay.

[MJ walks towards the front of the theatre.]

"And she's off"

Fury over comms: Parker!

Peter parker: No I'm coming

"If you wanna kill Nick Fury clap your hands"

The Avengers clapped

"If you wanna kill Nick Fury clap your hands"

Clap-Clap

"If you wanna take a gun and shoot him through the head, if you wanna kill Nick Fury clap your hands"

The Theater clapped

Natasha looked impressed 

"Nice!"

"Thanks!" Clint said smiling

"Very funny Barton" Fury said unsmiling

"I was being completely serious" 

[Betty walks past him. Ned walks right up to him.]

Peter Parker: (to Ned) Hey, I gotta go. Could you tell MJ that I'm sick or something?

"I really have to teach him how to lie"

Ned Leeds: O-o-okay. Be careful. And Peter, whatever you do, please steer the monster away from the opera house.

Peter Parker: Yeah, Ned, I know.

Ned Leeds: Okay.

"THATS THE WHOLE POINT WHY YOU ARE IN THE OPERA HOUSE!"

Peter Parker: Okay?

[Betty looks at Peter and Ned with her pair of opera glasses.]

Ned Leeds: Yeah.

Peter Parker: Gotta go.

"BYEEEEEEEEEE"

[Peter runs off. Ned rejoins Betty and they walk together. Just before leaving the opera, he holds onto a column and looks back toward Ned, Betty and MJ. The opera 'The Devil's Wall' by Bedřich Smetana begins. Brad, who is seated one seat away from MJ stands up and looks back at Peter. The red curtains of the theatre rise. Brad lifts the middle finger at Peter and sits right next to MJ. Peter is angry and is about to go into the theatre again.]

"Brad, that wasn't nice!"

Brad put up his hands in surrender

Nick Fury: (over radio) Parker! You better be on your way.

"HE IS!"

Peter Parker: Coming.

[Peter begrudgingly leaves the theatre. MJ looks back to see Peter gone. MJ gets up from her seat and leaves the theatre.]

"AWW! POOR MJ!"

"I'm right here"

Betty Brant: (whispering to Ned) Where do you think she's going? Do you think she's going to the carnival?

"Definitely not"

Ned Leeds: Oh, I...

Betty Brant: We should go too.

"No, you shouldn't"

Ned Leeds: (shaking his head) I don't...

Betty Brant: Yes, we should go. Come on, let's go. Come on.

"NO NO NO!"

"Ned, I am so sorry"

"It's alright Betty" 

[Ned is frustrated.]

[Cut to an aerial view of Prague at night. There are fireworks in the distance. Areas are lit with multi-colored lights.]

"That's super cool"

[Cut to Peter in his new Stealth Suit. He's on the side at the top of the cathedral tower. Fireworks go above and around him, which briefly illuminate him. He flips and perchs himself in a lower part on the outside of the cathedral tower.]

"And THAT, is even cooler"

"Still dont like Spider-Man"

Peter Parker: All right. I'm in position. Uh... As soon as I see something, Beck, I'll uh... I'll let you know.

"Good plan"

Quentin Beck: Roger that.

Nick Fury: (to Peter, over radio) How's the suit?

"Pretty cool"

Peter Parker: Uh the suit's great. It's awesome. It's a little tight around the old web-shooter.

"Um."

"No comment"

Nick Fury: (over radio) Parker!

Peter Parker: Okay, I'll shut up.

"Good idea"

[Cut to Ned and Betty walking in a crowd at the carnival.]

Betty Brant: Oh, my God, babe, isn't this beautiful?

Ned Leeds: Yeah, it's, it's real.... real beautiful, babe.

"Real beautiful"

Betty Brant: What's wrong?

Ned Leeds: You know, honestly, I just... I don't do well with big crowds, so maybe we should...

Betty Brant: (looking at something) I have the perfect thing. Come on.

"I've got a bad feeling about this"

[Betty pulls Ned along towards something.]

[MJ is shown looking around in the carnival behind a carousel.]

[Ned and Betty are sitting in a ferris wheel passenger car. The passenger car begins to go up.]

"Yep, definitely bad"

Betty Brant: Don't worry, babe. We'll get away from the crowds, get some fresh air. You'll feel a thousand times better.

"Nope, a thousand times worse"

[We cut back to MJ. MJ is standing in front of a fountain, which is steaming.]

[Cut to Nick Fury and Maria Hill in the makeshift S.H.I.E.L.D. base.]

Nick Fury: Energy spiking.

Maria Hill: We have seismic activity.

"I've got no idea what that is"

"Of course you dont know"

[We cut to MJ. She looks at the ground. The cement ground begins breaking, revealing magma flowing underneath. The lava flows out and moves up a statue and wraps around it. MJ and other people begin running away. Yelling can be heard in the crowd. The statue explodes revealing the Fire Elemental. It roars.]

"Cause that's not creepy at all"

Peter Parker: (noticing the apparition of the Fire Elemental) Okay, he's here! Beck, are you ready? You know what to do.

"He does?"

[Beck flies in from above toward the FIre Elemental.]

The theater cheered"

Quentin Beck: On your lead, Spider-Man.

"Why Spider-Man's lead?"

[The Fire Elemental jumps from the statue's original position to the ground and smashes a vehicle. The Fire Elemental grows as it's absorbing the metal. It roars again. The crowd is running away. The ferris wheel operator has run away as well. Betty and Ned are left on the ferris wheel, high above the ground, panicking.]

"Whoops. RIP Betty and Ned"

"EXCUSE!"

"Did that thing just get bigger"

Betty Brant: (to the operator) No, come back! Come back and help us!

[The Fire Elemental destroys and smashes several structures. Sparks, fireballs and smoke are seen. A cloud of green smoke drops to the ground in front of the Fire Elemental, revealing Mysterio. He steps forward, stretching his arms out. Magic green triangles rotate in front of his hands.]

"THAT'S ILLEGAL!"

"Why?"

"THAT'S COPYRIGHT! THAT IS SUCH A DOCTOR STRANGE MOVE!"

Quentin Beck: You're up, kid.

[Peter swings in from above and throws a wooden structure at the Fire Elemental. The Fire Elemental stumbles forward a bit. Peter lands on the side of a wall and looks back at the Fire Elemental. He shoots a web at a fire hydrant. Beck shoots two green laser beams from his hands at the Fire Elemental. Peter pulled out the fire hydrant, which releases at high pressure jet of water from the ground at the Fire Elemental. The Fire Elemental roars and is enveloped in steam.]

"That was awesome"

[Betty and Ned both look at Peter/Spider-Man.]

Betty Brant: Wait, w-wait. Is that...? Do you think that's Spider-Man?

"No"

Ned Leeds: Uh-uh... No, no, no. It's like a European rip-off version of him. I was actually reading about him the other day. It's not him.

"AH HA!"

[The Fire Elemental roars again and charges toward Peter. It tries to punch Peter, but instead punches the wall Peter was attached to. Peter evades its attack with a backflip and he lands on the carousel. The Fire Elemental destroys the carousel, sending Peter to the ground. The Fire Elemental is holding the destroyed metallic pieces from the carousel.]

Peter Parker: No, Beck! He's got the carousel! He's getting bigger!

"WAY BIGGER! YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT!"

"HE IS YOU IDIOT!"

[Ned and MJ look down at Spider-Man.]

Betty Brant: (to Ned) What's his-what's his name? What's his name?

Ned Leeds: Uh-uh... It's N-Night... Night Monkey.

"Night Monkey? Seriously Ned?"

"WHAT! I was under pressure!"

People rolled their eyes 

Betty Brant: Night Monkey?

Ned Leeds: Yeah. Yeah.

Betty Brant: (to Peter) Night Monkey!

"It's just sad that she believed it"

"I'm RIGHT HERE!"

Ned Leeds: Yeah.

Betty Brant: Night Monkey, help!

Ned Leeds: Night Monkey.

Betty Brant: Save us!

[Peter looks up at the ferris wheel and sees Betty and Ned.]

Peter Parker: What?

Betty Brant: Night Monkey, we're stuck!

Peter Parker: (to himself) Oh, no, no.

"Friends are in danger AGAIN!"

Betty Brant: Help us! Help!

[Peter looks back at the Fire Elemental, who has grown larger and taller due to absorbing more metal.The Fire Elemental roars loudly. Peter uses his web-shooters and shoots at the Fire Elemental, however the webs catch on fire and the fire moves down the web toward Peter. Fire Elemental walks toward Peter's direction and is about the smash Peter with its enormous hand, when suddenly Beck comes in the nick of time to protect Peter by creating a green energy dome. The Fire Elemental tries to damage the green force field.]

"This fight is real intense"

"Just shut up"

Peter Parker: Are you okay?

Quentin Beck: On to Plan B?

"Which is?"

"PLAN B?! I THOUGHT WE WERE ON PLAN H!"

Peter Parker: Yeah! We gotta hit him with something he can't absorb!

"That's actually really smart"

"That's why he's my son"

"And my nephew"

Quentin Beck: I go left, you go right! Now!

[The two split up. Beck flies up. The Fire Elemental focuses on Peter and begins charging at him and launching flames at him. Peter runs from it. Peter swings to the top of a building and runs up the wall and back-flips off of it to avoid any fires. In mid-air, Peter shoots his webbing at a large rock and launches it at the Fire Elemental, with the aid of a lamp post. He hurts the Fire Elemental.]

The theater whooped

Peter Parker: (to Beck) Okay, shoot at him!

Quentin Beck: (shooting at the Fire Elemental) Yeah!

[Peter lands atop a lamp post. ]

Quentin Beck: That hurt him. Keep it coming!

[Peter uses his webs to grab another debris of concrete and throws it at the Fire Elemental. Beck fires at the debris that is stuck in the chest of the Fire Elemental. The Fire Elemental wacks Beck out of the air.]

[Cut to a driver's seat view of Fury and Hill in a car heading to where the attack is taking place.]

"And of course Fury is just casually driving"

Quentin Beck: (over radio) Spider-Man, keep your distance!

[Fury and Hill's vehicle is followed by two other black Audi SUVs.]

Peter Parker: I'm trying!

Quentin Beck: We can't let him get near the ferris wheel!

Peter Parker: Okay. I'm on it!

[Peter falls to the ground and smashes into a vehicle. The Fire Elemental roars and smashes the ground. The ground cracks and they flaming cracks travel to the ferris wheel. This tips the ferris wheel a bit.]

"ALL HADES ABOUT TO BREAK LOOSE!"

Betty Brant: (screams)

Ned Leeds: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

[The Fire Elemental notices the pair screaming and shouting and begins heading toward the ferris wheel. Beck flies between the Fire Elemental and the ferris wheel and blasts green laser beams from his hands, which hit the hand of the Fire Elemental. The Fire Elemental is pushed back slightly and struggles against Beck. Peter runs toward the ferris wheel and shoots his webbing at an invisible object.]

"WHAT WAS THAT!?"

"That's creepy"

"It's invisible"

Peter Parker: Whoa, what is that?!

[Peter pulls at it and it flies behind him into an alleyway. MJ, who is hiding in the alleyway, spots the object with Spider-Man's webbing on it. The ferris wheel continues to tip slightly.]

"Of course MJ finds it"

Betty Brant: (screams)

Ned Leeds: Betty! Betty!

[Peter runs toward the ferris wheel while Beck continues to halt the Fire Elemental's advance. Peter shoots a web to the ferris wheel and one to the building wall behind it. Fury's motorcade arrives at the scene. In the background, Peter continues shooting webs from the ferris wheel to the wall to prevent it from falling down. Beck's lasers accidentally hit the windshield of Fury and Hill's vehicle and we see three spider-web-shaped glass shatter patterns on the windshield, like those caused by a gun. The motorcade stops and Fury and Hill step out of their vehicle. Peter keeps the ferris wheel still by pushing it toward the wall. Beck shoots his laser beams at the Fire Elemental, causing it to back up more.]

Peter Parker: That's it! Nice! Nice! You got him!

[The Fire Elemental backs up into scaffolding, which the Fire Elemental absorbs.]

"Well, that happened."

"Yep"

Quentin Beck: No, no, no.

[Beck shoots laser beams at the Fire Elemental, but it's too large to stop. It grows larger and roars fiercely. Maria Hill looks up at it in fear.]

Maria Hill: It's too late.

"YASS! DRAMATIC! Girls just love dramatics"

"Tamaki, sit down"

[Beck looks back at Peter.]

Quentin Beck: Whatever happens....

[Beck's mask disappears briefly.]

Quentin Beck: I'm glad we met.

"OOH, HARDCORE REAL STUFF RIGHT NOW!"

"Is it weird that I ship?"

"YESSSSSS!"

Peter Parker: Beck, what are you doing?

[Beck stares at the Fire Elemental. Beck's mask comes back..]

Quentin Beck: What I should have done last time.

"Dramatic"

"Isn't that Zeus' job?"

"Yep"

[Beck summons all his power and yells.]

Peter Parker: Beck, don't do it!

[Beck continues drawing in all his power and snaps his finger. He flies towards the Fire Elemental and enters its chest. The Fire Elemental begins to turn green. It collapses, disintegrating in a green, misty explosion that spreads throughout the nearby areas of Prague. Peter sets his webbing aside and attaches it on the ferris wheel to hold onto the ferris wheel. Peter witnesses Beck lying on the ground, face down. He drops down from the ferris wheel and runs toward him to checks on him.]

The Theater was quiet, a kid started to cry. And Tony was smiling

Peter Parker: (turning Beck over) Mr. Beck?

[Beck is breathing. He looks like he's been in a sauna.]

"YAY! HE'S ALIVE!"

Peter Parker: Oh, thank God.

"Yes, thank god"

[Peter pulls an injured Beck from the ground.]

[Cut to Ned and Betty on the ferris wheel, who were watching Spider-Man and Mysterio. Betty looks back at Ned.]

Betty Brant: I would totally kiss you, but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Ned Leeds: I... I mi- I might have a mint!

The theater rolled their eyes

"That was one hell of a battle" 

"PULEEZE HOW FAKE WAS THAT! SACRIFICE! BULLSHIT!!!"

"Tones, come down"

"Sorry"

"What happens now?" A blond boy named Alex asked

The Russian seated at his right just shrugged. 

"AWW MAN A FIRE MONSTER! AGAIN WHERE IS PERSUES JACKSON WHEN YOU NEED HIM!?"

"Shut it Valdez, you could of also helped."

"NOT AS MUCH AS PERCE!"

"Leo, calm down" a dark skinned, brown haired girl said softly

"You are all dead to me" an emo boy said

"Aww Death Breath we love you too" 

The boy opened his mouth to argue when someone scream

"EVERYONE SHUT UP! THE NEXT SCENE IS PLAYING!


	11. Too Many Lemonades Can Really Mess Up Your Head

[Cut back to the ground. Beck, Parker, and the SHIELD team sit amongst the rubble.]

Maria Hill: So, it's over?

"I guess so"

Quentin Beck: That was the last of them?

"Was that a question or an answer?"

Nick Fury: But not the last threat we'll ever face. We need to stay vigilant. There's a void in this world for someone like you. Hill and I are going to Europol headquarters in Berlin tomorrow. You should join us.

"Fu-ury needs to die Do-do because we hate him Do-do. And He's stupid Do-Do. And he is annoying...Do-do

[Quentin stands, clasping Fury's hand.]

Quentin Beck: Thank you. I just might take you up on that.

"FAKE!" Liza yelled

[Fury turns to where Peter stands still as a statue and walks over. Beck sits back down.]

Nick Fury: You got gifts, Parker. But you didn't wanna be here.

"NO?! Really?! I didn't notice?!"

Peter Parker: Mr. Fury, I--

Nick Fury: I'd love to have you in Berlin, too. But you've got to decide whether you're going to step up or not. Stark chose you. He made you an Avenger. I need that. The world needs that. Maybe Stark was wrong. Was he?

"Wait, he's an Avenger?! When did that happen!?"

Tony looked around sheepishly "in space?"

"SPACE!?"

[Peter begins to tear up.]

Nick Fury: The choice is yours.

"Not really though"

[Fury walks away from Peter, who casts his eyes down in shame. Beck stands and walks over to Peter, placing a hand on his shoulder.]

Quentin Beck: Let's get a drink.

"He's not twenty-one"

[Quentin walks offscreen and Peter turns to look at him.]

Peter Parker: I'm not twenty-one...

"HA!"

The theater bursts into laughing fits at Peter's expression

[Cut to the inside of a packed bar. Quentin holds a bottle of beer in his hand and Peter looks down, dejected, at his glass.]

"Don't be sad...Be glad"

Quentin Beck: Hey.

[Quentin pats Peter on the shoulder.]

Quentin Beck: You gotta celebrate, you did something good tonight.

"Celebrate the world, come on and celebrate the world"

"Donovan now is not the time for the Lorax songs"

Peter Parker: Yeah...

[Quentin pats him on the back.]

Peter Parker: Fury was right. Tony did a lot for me, so... I owe it to him, to everybody.

"Aww, kid"

Quentin Beck: Do you?

"UH, YES!"

Peter Parker: Yeah! I mean... Mr. Stark gave me the chance to be more, he wanted me to be better than him, and Fury just wants me to live up to that.

There was silence

"Wow"

Quentin Beck: What do YOU want, Peter?

"Ahh, good question"

Peter Parker: What do you mean?

Quentin Beck: What do you want?

Peter Parker: ...uh, I don't... know...

"BEEEEEEEEEP! WRONG ANSWER!"

Quentin Beck: What do you want, you, Peter Parker, right now? I know you're thinking about it! What do-

Peter Parker: I wanna go on my trip Right? I wanna go back on my trip, with my friends. I wanna go to the top of the Eiffel Tower with the girl who I like and tell her how I really feel, and... give her a kiss! I don't...

"Aww, that is so cute"

"I don't even know what I'm doing here" A man named Gabriel grumbled "I should be helping Shamron at the Office"

"Shah!" His wife Chiara hissed "Ari and Navot can wait till this is finished, then we can get on the next flight back to Israel"

Quentin Beck: Ooh!

"Don't tease him!"

"Ava seriously calm down"

Peter Parker: Shut up, man! I...

Quentin Beck: But you're not gonna do that, are you?

"Nope!"

Peter Parker: No, I can't!

"Yes you can!"

Quentin Beck: Why not?

Peter Parker: Because I have too much of a responsibility!

"With great power comes...great need to take a nap, wake me up later" a boy said his head falling onto the shoulder of the blond boy next to him

"Whoa there Zombie Man, not now"

[A local picks up the E.D.I.T.H. glasses and hands them to Peter.]

Peter Parker: Oh, my God, thank you so much!

Quentin Beck: What are those? Are those the...?

Peter Parker: E.D.I.T.H. glasses, yeah!

"IT WAS ON THE FLOOR!?"

Quentin Beck: It was on the floor? Try them on, let's see how they look on you.

[Peter puts on the glasses and looks at Quentin.]

"CCCUUUUTTTE!"

Peter Parker: ...I actually really like them!

"They look good"

Quentin Beck: Can I be completely honest with you?

"By all means"

Peter Parker: Please.

Quentin Beck: They look really stupid.

"NO THAY DONT! DONT LISTEN TO HIM!"

Peter Parker: Oh.

Quentin Beck: But maybe they have a contact-lens version of them.

"They dont"

[Peter takes off the glasses.]

Peter Parker: You try 'em on.

"Not a good idea Peter"

"Shh, Celia!"

Quentin Beck: No, c'mon!

Peter Parker: Try 'em on!

Quentin Beck: I don't wanna- I don't wanna try 'em on!

"Feigning innocence"

Peter Parker: Just put 'em on!

[Beck takes the glasses from Peter and puts them on.]

Quentin Beck: What do you think, kid?

"He be Hawt!"

"EWWW! NO!"

[Peter stares at Quentin for a long time, then breaks eye contact.]

Peter Parker: (to himself) "To the next Tony Stark, I trust you..." "To the next Tony Stark, I trust you."

"No Peter! No NO No no Peter!"

Quentin Beck: What?

Peter Parker: Mr. Stark left me a message with those glasses; "To the next Tony Stark, I trust you."

Quentin Beck: I'm still not following. How many lemonades have you had?

"Fourteen million six hundred five" Ava said with a smirk

Both Tony and Strange turned around to stare at her 

"Just a fangirl, chill"

Peter Parker: He knew every mistake I ever made, okay? So he must've known I was not ready for something like this.

"No Peter! You are ready! That's why I gave you the glasses! I gave them to you. Because you're the only one that is ready for them. You are ready for them Peter! Don't doubt yourself. Keep the glasses Peter. Please!" Tony said pleadingly at the screen tears forming in his eyes

Quentin Beck: Why would he give it to you?

Peter Parker: Because maybe he didn't trust me to have E.D.I.T.H., he just trusted me to pick who should. It makes so much more sense, he always knew I would do what's right and he's not gonna give them to Fury because Fury would just give himself E.D.I.T.H.

"No Peter! Keep the glasses" Tony pleaded

"Well, he's right about Fury"

Quentin Beck: Alright, you're probably right about that.

Peter Parker: Right, so, the world needs the next Iron Man... and it's not gonna be me! I mean, I'm a sixteen-year-old kid from Queens. It needs to be an adult with some experience and that's good like Tony Stark, like you.

"Please stop Peter! I gave them to you. They're for you!" Tony said weakly 

[Quentin looks at Peter for a moment and takes the glasses off.]

Quentin Beck: No, c'mon, Peter... No.

[Peter takes the glasses and puts them on.]

Peter Parker: E.D.I.T.H.?

E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter.

Peter Parker: Hi! Yeah, um... I'd like to transfer your control over to Quentin Beck.

"No Peter! Please"

The entire theater was speechless. They didn't utter a word"

Quentin Beck: Peter, what are you doing?

"STOP HIM!"

Peter Parker: I'm doing the right thing.

"NO NO NO!"

E.D.I.T.H.: Any transfer will require confirmation.

"NO confirmations!"

Quentin Beck: Stark gave you the glasses!

"EXACTLY!"

Peter Parker: Stark gave me a choice! It's my choice to make, okay? And I'm gonna make it. Look, you're a soldier, a leader, you stopped the Elementals, you saved my life, you saved the world! Okay? He'd want you to have them.

"No Peter. I want you to have them." Tony whispered tears flowing down his face. He wished he was still there. When he gets back to his timeline he's going to make sure both he and Tasha lived. He needed to be there for his "son"

E.D.I.T.H.: Waiting for confirmation.

Peter Parker: Confirm.

"No."

[Peter takes off the glasses and holds them out to Quentin.]

Peter Parker: Welcome to the Avengers.

"No Peter. No"

[Quentin puts the glasses on as a few notes of Alan Silvestri's Avengers theme play in the background. The two shake hands.]

Quentin Beck: Thank you. It's an honor.

"Yeah, he's got E.D.I.T.H. why do I think that all Hades is gonna break loose?"

"Cause that's most likely what's gonna happen"

Peter Parker: Yeah.

[Peter slings his backpack over his shoulder, standing up to leave.]

Peter Parker: Mr. Stark would've really liked you.

"No he wouldn't have" Tony grumbled

Morgan ran to give her dad another hug

Quentin Beck: Where you headed?

Peter Parker: I'm gonna go find MJ.

"Good boy!"

Quentin Beck: Good luck, kid. I'll give you about a fifty-fifty chance, you're pretty awkward, so...

"Pretty? more like Is awkward"

[Peter laughs.]

Peter Parker: Yeah. See ya later, man!

Quentin Beck: See ya!

"And that's that!" 

"What's Beck gonna do with the glasses?"

"I guess we'll have to find out"


	12. This is Why You Don't Rude Acronyms

[Just as Peter has left the bar, several things start to gradually disappear, both objects and people are revealed to be holograms. Quentin, sitting in the middle of the illusion, starts to smile]

"Wait-Whats going on?" 

"Jack, I'm scared"

"Hey, hey, it's ok"

Quentin Beck: See? That wasn't so hard.

Now everyone was staring at the scene in extreme confusion

[The people that haven't vanished, erupt in applause and cheers]

"I KNEW IT!" 

"No you didn't. Wait, knew what?"

Quentin Beck: (overjoyed) Somebody get this stupid costume off me!

"BASTARD!" Tony yelled in outrage, Rhodey and Steve had to hold him back from destroying the screen

[Outside, Peter walks past a memorial for Tony Stark, smiling and convinced he has done the right thing. In the "bar", Quentin, now without his superhero clothes, hands the glasses to one of his associates]

"Poor Peter!"

Quentin Beck: Okay, we got E.D.I.T.H.. Get these connected to our system.

"What are you planning to to Beck?!" Tony growled still restrained by Rhodey and Steve

Shuri looked over at Tony "Just what does the glasses have access too?"

"Just about everything owned by Stark Industries"

"Shit"

Mysterio's Crew: Toast! Toast! Toast! Toast!

"BOO BOO BOO BOO"

Quentin Beck: (trying to calm them) Now, this is a big win, but we still got a lot of work to do.

"FOR WHAT!?"

"I cant believe that guy! He made everyone think he's the hero when really he was the villian the entire time 

Mysterio's Crew: Toast! Toast! Toast! Toast!

"BOO BOO BOO BOO"

[It's clear that there's no chance to stop the victory whirl, so Quentin steps on the counter]

Quentin Beck: Okay, toasts! Give me that, Doug! (grabs a bottle of champagne) To the man who brought us all together, our former boss, Tony Stark.

"WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!?" The entire theater yelled, the Avengers staring at tony incredulously

[He lifts the bottle in the air]

Mysterio's Crew: Boo!

"BOO YOU YOU JERK! IRON MAN IS WAY BETTER!"

Quentin Beck: The jester king. Literally wrapped in wealth and technology that he was unfit to wield. Like the holographic system I designed. A revolutionary breakthrough with limitless applications that Tony turned into a self-therapy machine and renamed...

"UNFIT TO WEILD!? UNFIT TO WEILD!? IF IT WASNT FOR ME AND MY TEAM YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD!"

"Tony, please" Rhodey Scott pleaded

[Brief flashback of Tony in Captain America: Civil War, where Tony Stark presents his final meeting with his parents, using the same holographic technology]

"That's right before..."

"The Accords" Steve said

"The Accords" Tony confirmed

Tony Stark: Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, or BARF...

"I remember that!" A student yelled

[The crowd laughs while the hologram disappears and Tony takes off his glasses]

Tony Stark: Oh, $611,000,000 for my little therapeutic experiment...?

[Zoom in, Quentin Beck is standing behind Tony, with a disgusted grimace on his face]

Quentin Beck (vo): He renamed my life's work BARF.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT!" A kid named Harry yelled 

[Back to the present]

Quentin Beck: I told him that it was a mistake. That my technology can change the world. And then... He fired me. Said I was... unstable. (determined) To Tony!

"Why does this sound like something Hatch would do?"

"SHH! Nichelle don't compare Tony Stark to Hatch"

"Sorry Michael"

Mysterio's Crew: (all holding champagne) To Tony!

"YEAH TONY! Just for different reason"

Quentin Beck: Next, to William.

"He was there with Obie tried to kill me"

[We get a brief flashback to the movie that started it all, Iron Man, where Obadiah Stane yells at one of his employees, William Ginther Riva]

Obadiah Stane: (yelling, pointing at William) Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave! With a box of scraps!

"Your first Arc Reactor?"

"Uh hu"

[Brief zoom in, a wipe brings us back to the current William]

Quentin Beck: The integration of my illusion tech, with your weaponized drones, was brilliant. Powerful illusions, real damage, worked like a charm. And it's just the beginning.

"So all of the Elementals were just illusions? How?"

"All the damage was real! People Died! How was it an illusion!?"

"Drones" Ned and MJ said. "He used Drones"

William Ginther Riva: (proud) Thank you, brother.

Quentin Beck: To Guterman.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

[Cut to another man, Quentin Beck's story writer and acting coach]

Mysterio's Crew: To Guterman!

Quentin Beck: The story you created of a soldier from another earth named Quentin fighting space monsters in Europe is totally ridiculous! And apparently exactly the kind of thing people will believe right now! I mean, everybody bought it!

"Well yeah, we just got attacked by aliens and evil robots, the multiverse isn't so far fetched"

[More cheers from the group]

Quentin Beck: To Victoria.

"BOOOOOO"

Mysterio's Crew: To Victoria!

[Cut to a woman in her late twenties, early thirties]

Quentin Beck: Staging electromagnetic pulses at each attack site so Fury's own satellites would confirm our lies? Inspired idea. To Janice!

"He got the better of Fury! HE GOT THE BETTER OF FURY! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Shut it Barton"

Clint and Scott high-fived

[Cut to another woman]

Mysterio's Crew: Janice!

Quentin Beck: After Tony died, she was the one who discovered that E.D.I.T.H. was being handed over -- not to us, not to the Defense Department, but to a child.

"HE'S NOT A CHILD YOU BASTARD!"

"YEAH! HE'S TONY'S SON! ASSHOLE!"

Tony didn't argue with that statement

Janice: Thank you!

Man: (among the cheers) To Janice!

Quentin Beck: And to the rest of you, Tony Stark is gone. There is a window of opportunity and someone will step up. But these days, you can be the smartest guy in the room, the most qualified, and no one cares. Unless you're flying around with a cape, or shooting lasers from your hands, no one will even listen. Well... I've got a cape. And lasers. (soft laughter) With our technology, and with E.D.I.T.H., Mysterio will be the greatest hero on Earth! (more cheers) And everyone will listen! Not to a boozy man-child!

"Ok, Time out! I might be a mind-child but i am not BOOZY! I am proud to say I have been sober for over ten years!"

Mysterio's Crew: No!

Quentin Beck: Not to a hormonal teenager!

"SSSSSHHHHHUUUUUUUTTTTTTT UUUUUUUPPPPPPPP!" Bucky and Sam yelled

Mysterio's Crew: No!

Quentin Beck: To me! And to my very wealthy crew! To us.

"BOOOOOOOO"

Mysterio's Crew: To us!

Quentin Beck: (lifting the bottle) To Mysterio!

The entire theater booed. they couldn't believe they supported this guy

Mysterio's Crew: To Mysterio!

Quentin Beck: To Peter Parker.

"LEAVE PETER OUT OF THIS!" Tony yelled struggling to get out of Steve's hold

Mysterio's Crew: To Peter Parker!

Quentin Beck: (a bit of guilt) Poor kid. (back to business) Let's get to work.

"I can't believe it" Someone whispered

"I wish he wasn't dead so we could kill him"

"Same"

"What's he gonna do with the glasses?"

"I guess we'll find out"


	13. IT'S REAL! IT'S REAL! Wait. No. Never mind. It's Fake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the script has been updated so i have written in reactions instead of a video

[Peter is running up a flight of stairs in the hotel. Ned enters the scene, dressed in a bathrobe, from a corridor on the left side of the shot.]

Ned Leeds: Peter, oh my God!

"Yeah, seriously"

Peter Parker: Hey. Hey.

[Peter and Ned are hugging]

Ned Leeds: We almost died.

Peter Parker: It's fine. It's fine. Hey, guess what? I'm done with the mission.

Ned Leeds: Dude, the trip's over.

"How unexpected" a man in a yellow sleeping bag grumbled

Peter Parker: What?

Ned Leeds: There's monsters coming out of the ground everywhere we go. Of course our parents would want us home.

"Obviously"

[Mr. Harrington comes out of a hotel room, on the phone with parents]

Mr. Harrington: (talking on the phone) Please, don't put me on hold. (to Peter, as he notices him) Oh Peter! You're not dead. Oh, my God. Yes, good. Stay here. Don't die. (to Ned) Put some clothes on. We're booking flights!

"Well, it was fun while it lasted"

"no, it wasn't"

[Mr. Harrington exits the scene. Mr. Dell comes from the direction Mr. Harrington leaves in and converses with Peter and Ned.]

Mr. Dell: We came for science, we're leaving because of witches. Welcome to the new Dark Ages.

The theater stared blankly

[Mr. Dell enters a room.]

Peter Parker: What is going on?

Ned Leeds: We're going home in the morning.

Peter Parker: No, no, no. All the Elementals are gone.

"That's what you think"

[Betty calls to Ned from her hotel room door.]

Betty Brant: Ned!

Ned Leeds: Coming, sweetie.

[Ned leaves to go to Betty's room. Flash opens his hotel room door.]

Flash Thompson: Hi, can you guys keep it down? I'm live-streaming.

"Idiot"

[Flash closes his door. A hotel room door opens, revealing MJ.]

Peter Parker: (to Flash) Yeah.

MJ: (to Peter) Hey.

Peter Parker: Hey!

MJ: Where were you?

Peter Parker: Um, I got lost.

"Great excuse"

MJ: We were worried about you.

Peter Parker: Oh.

MJ: Good thing you're back.

Peter Parker: Yeah.

MJ: So much for Paris, right?

"Yeah, so much"

Peter Parker: Would've been fun.

"Definitely 

MJ: Yeah. Night.

Peter Parker: Night.

[MJ closes door. Peter is unable to complete his sentence before her door closes ]

Peter Parker: You look ni...

[Peter musters up the courage to go toward MJ's hotel room door.]

Peter Parker: (to himself) Okay.

[Peter goes toward her door. Before Peter reaches her door, it opens]

MJ: (Startled) Oh!

Peter Parker: Hey.

MJ: Hey.

Peter Parker: Uh... Look, um...I'm not ready for this trip to be over yet, and I kind of want to do something fun that's not on the itinerary or planned or with Mr. Harrington.

"REEEEEEEBEEEEEEEEEEL"

MJ: Yes.

Peter Parker: "Yes," like you wanna go?

MJ: Yes.

Peter Parker: Okay, awesome. I'll see you outside in ten minutes.

MJ: Meet me outside in five minutes.

Peter Parker: Five is good.

MJ: Okay.

Peter Parker: Okay, bye.

"Still extremely awkward"

MJ: Bye. Huh.

[A Czech news broadcast of Mysterio and Spider-Man's battle with Molten Man in Prague is shown. The chyron reads "Mysterio a Night Monkey v Praze", which translates to "Mysterio and Night Monkey in Prague". Video footage of the attack is shown. The first clip shows Ned and Betty stuck in a ferris wheel passenger car. Betty Brant is shouting, "Night Monkey, help us! Help! Night Monkey!" The second clip shows Mysterio protecting himself and Spider-Man from an attack by Molten Man. The scene cuts to Peter, who is currently watching the news broadcast in the hotel lobby. He smiles to himself. The elevator bell rings and MJ emerges. Peter and MJ walk toward each other.]

"He looks so smug"

Peter Parker: Hey!

MJ: Hey.

Peter Parker: Uh... so... where do you wanna go?

"TAKE ME ANYWHERE!"

"Shut up, seriously. No one needs to here your terrible singing"

MJ: Who cares?

Peter Parker: Awesome.

MJ: Okay.

Peter Parker: Let's go.

[Peter and MJ begin walking out of the hotel. Brad is shown to be sitting in one of the chairs in the lobby with his computer, as he notices the pair walking out together.]

[Peter Parker and MJ are walking along in Prague]

Peter Parker: I'm glad we're doing this.

"Awww"

MJ: Yeah, me...me too.

"Awww'

"Shut up"

Peter Parker: To see the city a little bit.

MJ: You know they used to execute people on this bridge. They would like-

Peter Parker: Oh?

MJ: -put them in a basket and they would like drown them in water. Sorry.

"This is why you have no friends"

Peter Parker: It's okay. Uh...like there's this thing that I've been wanting to talk to you about for a while.

"He's Spider-Man"

"NO! He likes you!"

"Or he's gay"

"Would you please just shut up!"

MJ: Yeah?

Peter Parker: It's our last night in Europe and I had this plan that I wanted to tell you. I'm just gonna...I'm just gonna tell you. Uh... MJ I-

"Am an idiot"

"Shut up Sam"

"WHat?!"

"Seriously what do you and Bucky have against the kid?"

Sam then proceeded to stick his tongue out

MJ: am Spider-Man.

Peter Parker: What?

HIS FACE THOUGH!"

"Smooth. Real Smooth"

MJ: That's what you were gonna say that you're Spider-Man.

"MJ I love you"

"Thanks Shuri!"

Peter Parker: No. I'm not Spider-Man.

"I still gotta teach him how to lie! When we get back to our timeline, I am not dying

MJ: I mean I've been watching you for like a while now it's... kind of obvious.

"Watching is my job" A man by the name of Eli Lavon pouted

"Sorry Lavon" 

Peter Parker: I'm not Spider-Man. I mean what would make you think that I was Spider-Man.

"Uh, everything"

MJ: Peter, Washington?

"Yeah?"

Peter Parker: Yeah?

MJ: The fact that you like disappear, out of nowhere, for no reason.

"Well technically he had a reason"

Peter Parker: No, that was, I was sick. Remember, I had my... the tummy?

"And here he goes with the terrible lies"

"Eyal, shut up"

MJ: You know Susan Yang thinks that you're a male escort.

"Wow, that sucks"

"It EeZ WhAT iT eEz"

"Sarah you need to be quiet! I cant hear what he's saying!"

Peter Parker: What? No, of course I'm not a male escort!

"Yeah, I would kill him if he was"

"Tony, we don't kill children. Especially our own"

MJ: Well then you're Spider-Man.

"Because that is the obvious conclusion one makes"

"I guess so"

Peter Parker: No, I'm not Spider-Man at all!

"ARE TOO"

MJ: What about tonight? You snuck off and fought that thing. I saw you.

"Yep, she did. he's screwed"

Peter Parker: You can't have seen me because I'm not Spider-Man and also on the news it was the Night Monkey.

"Still a stupid name"

MJ: The Night Monkey?

"RIGHT!?"

Peter Parker: Yeah. That's what it said on the news... and the news never lies.

"Now THAT is a lie. The news always be lying"

MJ: (Chuckling) Night Monkey. Okay.

"She don't believe him."

"I mean, who would?"

"Truth"

[MJ takes off backpack]

Peter Parker: What are you doing?

MJ: (Unzips backpack and reaches inside) Well do the Night Monkey and Spider-Man use the same webs?

"Probably."

"Maybe he's a Spider Monkey?"

"They don't have webs you idiot"

[MJ reveals an object with spider webs attached to it that she recovered]

Peter Parker: I mean maybe. Maybe he's a spider monkey, who knows? Were you only watching me because you thought I was Spider-Man?

"NOPE!"

MJ: Yeah. Why else would I be watching you?

"I don't know, maybe you like him!?"

Peter Parker: Doesn't matter. Just thought that maybe-

"What! FINISH THE SENTANCE!"

[Projector inexplicably goes off and MJ drops it. The projector briefly shows the Air Elemental, "Cyclone"]

Peter Parker: The hell was that?

MJ: I don't know.

[Peter and MJ look around shocked and frightened by what they just witnessed. Peter moves cautiously forward and bends down to pick it up.]

MJ: What is it like some kind of projector or something?

"Yep, that's what it is"

Peter Parker: Yeah but it's... really advanced.

"STARK TECH! THAT'S WHY!"

MJ: It looked so real.

"Yeah, we all believed it"

"Sad really"

"Even Fury believed it"

Peter Parker: Yeah really real.

"ALL THE ELEMANTALS ARE FAKE!"

MJ: Wait a minute does that mean that..

"YES DUNCEFACE THE ELEMENTALS ARE FAKE!"

Peter Parker: The Elementals are fake? But that doesn't make any sense because we were there right? There was fire and destruction and... who would do something like that?

"Uh, Beck?"

"Mysterio?"

[Projector goes off once again showing the Air Elemental but this time also showing Mysterio fighting it.]

"YEP! CALLED IT!"

"No you didn't James, shut up"

"Don't tell me what to do Lauren"

MJ: Mysterio?

"NO! IT'S DOCTOR STRANGE!"

"I beg your pardon?"

Peter Parker: (Realizing Mysterio's deception, he turns to face MJ) I am Spider-Man. And I really messed up.

"AND THERE YOU HAVE IT KIDS! HE SAID IT"

MJ: Wait, you're being serious right now?

"One hundred percent"

Peter Parker: Mhm.

MJ: You're not joking with me like you're a hundred percent serious 'cause it's not funny.

"It really isn't"

Peter Parker: No I'm not joking.

MJ: 'Cause I was... I was only like sixty-seven percent sure.

"Sixty seven? that's an exact number"

Peter Parker: MJ

MJ: So why, why are you here? Why-

Peter Parker: MJ

MJ: -why are you on this school trip?

Peter Parker: MJ look I know you have a lot of questions but look, we really have to get out of here okay?

"Good plan"

MJ: Okay. Okay. Can't believe I figured it out!

"Yeah, we cant either"

[Peter Parker and MJ run back to the hotel]

\----------------

[We see Mysterio flying around some kind of a storm Elemental, firing lasers at it]

Quentin Beck (vo): You took everything from me! This is for my family!

"It's a voice over!"

"It looks so fake now"

"No it doesn't! It still looks as real as it did before"

"Yeah but now it looks fake because we know it's fake"

"It still looks the same real"

[The camera pans down, several people of Mysterio's crew admire or inspect the scene, while William is looking on his phone.]

Quentin Beck: Pause. Pause?

"Huh?"

[We see Quentin Beck standing in the middle of the room, which looks suspiciously like a movie studio. He wears a motion capture outfit]

"Motion capture suit? Seriously?"

"No, Sirius isn't here"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

William Ginther Riva: (looking up) Sorry.

"YOU SHOULD BE!"

[William pauses the illusion]

Quentin Beck: Yeah, uh, can you just fast-forward to the end?

William Ginther Riva: Yeah. Standby.

[The visual flashes forward to the climax]

"That's pretty cool"

Quentin Beck: (mumbling to himself) Right. Fly, fly, fly... Zap, zap, zap... Pause.

"Fly, fly fly....Zap, zap, zap! WHAT THE HELL!?"

[The Elemental freezes again]

Quentin Beck: I'm not in love with this choreography, but it'll do. Kill image.

"STAB IT!"

"What the hell!?"

"Sorry"

"I'm scarred"

[The illusion disappears]

"Now that's cool!"

Quentin Beck: Decloak drones.

"So they're drones?"

"Guess so"

[Where the Elemental used to be, several drones appear out of thin air when their cloaking devices are deactivated]

Quentin Beck: Right, weapons?

"He wants to weaponize them? Is he nuts!?"

"Apparently"

William Ginther Riva: You wanna weaponize them?

The boy who said it blushed

Quentin Beck: Yup.

William Ginther Riva: Weapons only. Standby.

"Standby everyone. Standby"

"Would you please shut up"

[Several drones fly towards some prop pillars in the lot, firing at them as they fly by.]

Silence 

"So that's how he does real damage"

William Ginther Riva: Nice.

Quentin Beck: Stop. Something... I don't know what it is. It's something... Just dou... You know what? Double the damage, and then run it again.

"CAN WE MAKE THIS INTO A MEME!? PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE!?"

"DOUBLE THE DAMAGE!?"

William Ginther Riva: You want me to double it up?

"NOO!!!!!!"

Quentin Beck: Yeah.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

William Ginther Riva: Alright. Cover your ears.

A few kids covered their ears

[The image of the Elemental appears again. Through the underlying drones, it seems like he punches the pillars to pieces. Shortly thereafter, the holographic Mysterio fires a laser at it and defeats it]

"I still find that extremely cool"

Quentin Beck: That's good! That's good.

"NO IT IS NOT!"

[William gives two thumbs up]

Everyone either gives two thumbs down, or flips two birds"

Quentin Beck: We're on schedule?

"Possibly"

William Ginther Riva: Oh, yeah. Uploading software hack to E.D.I.T.H. network, where drones will be able to create an event big enough to cover an entire city.

"That's not cool at all"

Quentin Beck: Right, well done. Make sure every drone is weapons hot. We need maximum damage.

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

Guterman: That's gonna cause a lot of casualties.

"NO SMEGGERS SHERLOCK!"

Quentin Beck: Oh, yeah. More casualties, more coverage. I gotta cut through the static. London is a beautiful city and it will suffer, but they can rebuild. If I'm gonna be the next Iron Man, I need to save the world from an Avengers-level threat. But, when its new savior descends...

"You will never be as good as Iron Man" The entire theater yelled in unison

[The holographic projection of Mysterio flies down and incapsulates Beck like a second skin. His voice is slightly altered and amplified]

Quentin Beck (vo): ...all those casualties will be forgotten.

"NO THEY WON'T! WE HAD THE ACCORDS BECAUSE OF THAT YOU BASTARD!"

[Mysterio's helmet disappears, Beck directs his attention to Janice, who is working on the real Mysterio suit]

Quentin Beck: Janice, you'll be in position with a quick change armor, for the victory lap?

"Quick Change?"

Janice: Of course. Do you want to try...

Quentin Beck: No, no. That's...

[The footage becomes slightly distorted around Beck's waving upper arm]

"Uh oh."

"Peter is screwed"

"Yep"

Quentin Beck: What's going on with my hand? Why is that happening?

"We are missing a projector"

William Ginther Riva: Oh, one of the drones that came back from the plaza was missing a projector. It's fine.

Quentin Beck: Wait, and you're... You're telling me this, now?

"Nope, he told you four years ago"

"Not funny Eagle"

William Ginther Riva: It's one drone. The image will be perfect, I promise.

"That's not what he's worried about"

Quentin Beck: That projector is evidence. It's going to tell people what we're doing and how we're doing it. I am trying to fool seven billion people here, including Nick Fury, who happens to be the most paranoid and most dangerous person on the planet.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE FOOLED NICK FURY!"

"Not funny Barton"

"IT IS THOUGH!"

"Shut up Stark"

"No!"

[Beck seems to get more unhinged as he goes on]

Quentin Beck: And if he catches on before I've killed him, then he will put a bullet in my head. And nobody wants a bullet in their head! Right?

"Eh, debatable"

"Alex NO!"

[Two drones fly towards Guterman and Victoria]

Quentin Beck: Right?!

[Two others fly towards William, aiming at his forehead]

Quentin Beck: William, can you look at me?

"NO"

[He does]

Quentin Beck: Pull up E.D.I.T.H..

E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Quentin.

Quentin Beck: Yeah. Hi, honey. I need a level 5 search full resource protocol for this device.

"Honey? What is she your wife?"

[A map is projected and steadily magnified]

E.D.I.T.H.: Magnifying...

Quentin Beck: There. Search everything going in and out of that building.

E.D.I.T.H.: Located.

[Through video footage, we see how MJ got the projector, took it to the bridge and showed it to Peter]

"NO NOT PETER!"

Quentin Beck: Shit. (looking back at William, furious) You know William, one day, after I've had to kill Peter Parker because of this... I hope you remember, that his blood is on your hands!

"AWW HE CARES!"

"HE"S GONNA KILL HIM!"

"is it weird that I'm starting to ship them?"

"YES!"

[Quentin walks out.]

"How's that for a dramatic exit?"

"Terrible"


	14. Costume Party in the Prince's Castle...In Berlin

[Cut to MJ's hotel room, where Peter frantically closes the window curtains.]

"Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious."

"Please, Meera, for the love of god shut up"

Peter Parker: I can't believe I gave Beck those glasses! I mean, how could I be that stupid? He's probably spying on me right now or sending a drone to come and kill me.

"And we wonder why Peter was always paranoid"

MJ: You had access to killer drones?

"Better believe it"

Peter Parker: Yeah, I didn't really want 'em, especially after I almost killed Brad.

"HEY!" Brad yelled

MJ: You almost killed Brad?!

"YEP!"

Peter Parker: Look, I have to call Mr. Fury and tell him that Beck's a fraud, but... I think he tapped my phone.

"Most likely. That is the smart way to go"

MJ: Okay, so what are you gonna do?

"Sit down and eat cookies"

Peter Parker: Well, I need my suit and I have to go to Berlin and talk to Mr. Fury in person.

"Bad idea"

"Terrible" The Avengers agreed

[Peter takes his shirt off in front of MJ, then stops to stare at MJ, clearly embarrassed. After a few awkward seconds, MJ gets the message and turns around while Peter strips down to his underwear and begins to put on the stealth suit. MJ still manages to sneak a peek, however, before the camera pans over to reveal Ned standing in the doorway. The two share a glance -- MJ impassive, Ned panicked.]

"MJ BEING SNEAKY!"

"Shut up"

"His abs though"

[Cut to a wide shot of Peter zipping up the Stealth Suit. He lifts up the eye visors.]

"That scared me"

Peter Parker: Ah! Ned, perfect!

Ned Leeds: The costume looks great! For the costume party, at the... Prince's castle...

"That was a terrible lie"

Peter Parker: She knows. I told her.

"Go figure"

MJ: He didn't tell me. I figured it out.

"Debatable"

[Ned hesitates, then slowly nods.]

Ned Leeds: Oh. That's cool.

MJ: Like, a long time ago.

"That's untrue"

"And how would you know that Eugene?"

Ned Leeds: ...oh.

Peter Parker: Look, Mysterio is a fraud.

"Understatement of the century"

"More like the millennia"

Ned Leeds: But he- But he saved me and Betty's lives...

"Ok I guess that counts"

"And he loves Peter" someone whispered

MJ: No, he's been faking the whole thing with illusion tech.

"REALLY!? I HADN'T NOTICED! Wait, actually I really didn't notice"

Peter Parker: Yeah, he's using these, like, hologram projectors.

Ned Leeds: Whoa! That's... crazy!

"He's really not showing shock"

MJ: Yeah.

[A beat while Peter and MJ share a glance.]

Ned Leeds: So, you guys were, like... working the case together, or what?

MJ: It's been mostly me.

"Aww MJ, trying to be the better one?"

"It is the truth"

Peter Parker: Look, Ned, I need you to call May, get her to call Mr. Harrington, say that she wanted me to stay with family in Berlin until this all blows over, okay?

"That is actually a really good plan"

Ned Leeds: Got it. Easy.

MJ: Wow. You guys lie with such ease.

"It's a little scary. Even if they are terrible lies"

[Ned shrugs.]

Peter Parker: Gotta go.

"BYE SWEETIE!"

[Peter starts to move out, pulling open the window curtains.]

MJ: Wait! Ah, wait, wait, wait! The projector. You're gonna need this.

"Peter, what would you do without MJ?"

[MJ throws Peter the projector, which he catches.]

Peter Parker: Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Anyone who knows is in danger.

"And now he's serious again"

[With that, Peter jumps out the window. MJ stares after him as the camera slowly pans over to Ned.]

Ned Leeds: So, you know, too. It's cool! Um. I mean, I've known first and I've known longer but it's not a competition...

"I didn't think it was possible for someone to be more awkward than Peter"

"UH, HAVE YOU MET JESS!?"

"Ok, good point"

[Cut to a train station where Peter swings onto the top of a moving train as it pulls out of the station. Cut to a wide shot of the city with the in the foreground. The text "Berlin, Germany" is superimposed over the landscape.]

"Cool. I've always wanted to go to Germany"

"I've never wanted to step foot into that country" Someone spat

"Why not"

"Well, for one I'm Jewish, it's in my blood to hate Germans"

"Why?"

"The Holocaust" 

"Oh"

[The train pulls into the station and Peter jumps off, swinging over a crowd before landing in front of a civilian.]

"Probably scared her to death"

Peter Parker: Uh, 'scuse me? Do you know where-

"And she screams"

Woman: Nacht Monkey!

"The German language is so much fun!"

"Russian is way cooler"

"Uh, Hebrew is the coolest"

[The woman runs away.]

Peter Parker: No, wait, I didn't...! Aw, man!

"Poor Peter"

[A black Audi pulls up in front of Peter. The window rolls down to reveal Nick Fury.]

"FAKE!"

Nick Fury: Get in.

[Peter does so and the car speeds off. Peter pulls off his mask, breathing heavily.]

Peter Parker: Mr. Fury!

"Mr.?"

"SHHH!"

"He's so polite"

Nick Fury: You've got a lot of explaining to do.

"No s**t "

Peter Parker: No, no, no, listen!

Nick Fury: Wait until we're secure.

"That would probably be best"

[Peter pushes himself back into his seat.]

Peter Parker: Okay...

[Peter takes a few deep breaths until Fury clears his throat. He makes a slashing motion across his chest, indicating for Peter to put his seatbelt on.]

"Lol!"

Peter Parker: Right.

[Peter tugs on the seatbelt but finds that it's stuck. After a few attempts at loosening it, Peter tugs on the strap so hard that it finally breaks off. Peter nervously looks over to Fury, who gives him a disappointed look and turns his eye back to the road. The car pulls into the garage of a very fancy looking building.]

"He. Broke. The. Seatbelt!"

"Why is that so funny?"

"Because he broke the seatbelt"

"Again, why is that funny?"

"oh forget it"

[Cut to the inside of a pristine white facility, teeming with staff members who Peter and Fury walk past. S.H.I.E.L.D. has obviously recovered from the events of The Winter Soldier quite well. Peter and Fury enter a conference room where Maria Hill is standing.]

Nick Fury: So... Is there anything you want to tell us about your girlfriend?

"HUH! HOW DID THEY KNOW!?"

Maria Hill: He's talking about E.D.I.T.H.

"OH"

Peter Parker: Look, I know I made a mistake, and I'm sorry, but he is not who you think he is. Beck is a liar. Mysterio, the Elementals, it's all fake. He has some sort of illusion tech, and that's how he tricked you guys and he tricked me into giving him E.D.I.T.H.

"Says it straight out"

[Peter pulls out the projector that MJ recovered and slides it across the table.]

"Slide!"

"Please, be quiet"

Peter Parker: It's a projector. I pulled it off the fire monster in Prague.

"Fire Monster!" Sam scoffed

Nick Fury: So all that death and destruction we witnessed was caused by this?

"Not exactly"

Peter Parker: No, not just this! I think he's using drones.

"Yep! You would be correct!"

Nick Fury: Well, if this is true, then Beck's very dangerous and we need to be smart. Who else did you tell about this?

"Don't say. Don't say!"

[Peter then senses something]

"PETER TINGLE!"

Nick Fury: Parker? Parker!

"Peter? Peter!"

Maria Hill: What's wrong?

"Ah, good question!"

Peter Parker: It's Beck. He's here.

"WHAT! NO WAY!"

"So, is Fury an illusion!?"

"How is Mysterio here?"

"Well if you shut up we'll find out"


	15. Please Refrain From Killing Anyone. Actually, Never Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first.
> 
> IT IS CONFIRMETH MY DUDES!   
> DABI IS TOUYA TODOROKI!  
> GAAAAHHH I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

[Peter puts his eyepiece back when the hologram starts to disappear, Maria Hill included. The facility is just an abandoned building.]

"WAIT WHAT!?"

Nick Fury: (shocked) What? Hill?

"NOT HILL!"

"People do like you Maria"

"Nat I swea-"

Peter Parker: No, it's just an ill...

"Yeah, it's an illusion! That's a bad thing!"

[A missile is fired from behind Peter, seemingly hitting and killing Fury]

"I bet that's an illusion too"

"Yeah, same, it's not that easy to kill Fury"

Peter Parker: Fury!

"Why does he believe it?"

[He looks back and sees one of the weaponized drones. It takes another shot, blasting Peter through the back wall, causing him to fall several floors down. Quentin Beck's voice, amplified, takes center stage. Peter gets surrounded by drones, all pointing lasers at him]

"PETER!"

"NO PLEASE BE OKAY!"

Quentin Beck (vo): Wow, Peter. Wow. I thought we were close. Fury always had to die. But not you.

"Why did I always have to die?"

"Uh, because, why not you. It would be a tragedy if any of us died, but not you"

"Excuse me?"

"BECK LOVES HIM!" someone yelled

"NO!"

"YES! CAN'T YOU SEE IT?!"

"I CAN I JUST DONT WANNA GO THERE!"

Peter Parker: Stop hiding, Beck!

"YEAH YOU COWARD!"

[Peter shoots some web at one of the drones but misses. Their cloaking devices activate and they disappear, while another illusion gets activated]

"This is so incredibly cool! And terrifying" 

Quentin Beck (vo): I tried to help you walk away. Now you're making me do this... do this... do this...

"He's not making you do anything!"

[Everything goes dark. Peter, now in his original Tony Stark suit, looks in horror when lights fall down, revealing a school corridor covered in green smoke. Mysterio walks towards him]

"I'm so confused! What is going on!?"

Quentin Beck: You told me, you were just a kid.

"He is a kid!!"

"Is he though?"

[Peter shoots his web, but only green smoke sprays out of his hands. Mysterio is then suddenly behind him] 

"That was creepy"

"This whole thing is creepy"

"True Dat"

Quentin Beck: You told me...

"To go die in a hole"

[Peter punches him, only to reveal it's a brick pillar]

"that's gotta hurt"

"No kidding"

Quentin Beck (vo): ...you wanted to run after that girl.

"It was what he wanted! And you ruined it!"

MJ (vo): Help me!

"NO NO NO! SAVE HER PETER!"

Peter Parker: MJ!

[He runs through a door when he's suddenly on top of the Eiffel Tower. The door breaks loose and falls down. Peter looks to his right and sees MJ, confused and scared]

"This whole thing is crazy"

MJ: Peter? What's going on?

"IT'S AN ILLUSION PETER!"

"Come on Peter!"

Peter Parker: I know this isn't real.

"YEAH!"

[Mysterio then materializes out of the full moon, grabbing MJ by her neck]

"NOOO!"

"IT ISNT REAL IDIOTS!"

"SO?! IT LOOKS REAL!"

Quentin Beck: Do you, though?

"I honestly don't think so"

Peter Parker: MJ!

[Mysterio throws her away, Peter dives after her]

"MJ!"

"PETER!"

Peter Parker: MJ!

[The illusion disappears. Peter hits the floor, MJ's screams still echoing through his head]

"Oof, that's got to hurt"

Quentin Beck (vo): I don't think you know what's real, Peter... [Echoing] Peter... Peter...

"That could be entirely true"

[Several buildings pass Peter at incredible speeds. One of the buildings, with a neon sign that says "Queens" above it, stops before him. Mysterio's gigantic fist then punches through it, sending Peter flying. He flies through the horizon, it shatters like glass. After falling through some webs, the illusion is briefly lifted]

Many people winced 

Quentin Beck (vo): (distorted) You need to WAKE UP!

"WAKE UP PETER!"

[Peter crashes on top of a car. He gets back on the ground, looking around, breathing anxiously. A dozen of drones then fly out of the windows of the building, the illusion continues. Huge shards of glass fall down, surrounding Peter]

"No! I thought the illusion was over!"

Quentin Beck (vo): I mean, look at yourself.

[When Peter reaches out to touch one of his reflections, the reflection comes to life, grabbing his hand. Dozens of Spider-Men hurl themselves at Peter, pulling his suit away]

"PETER!"

"I'm gonna kill Mysterio"

Quentin Beck (vo): You are just a scared little kid in a sweatsuit!

"That's his homemade suit?"

[The Spider-Men vanish, Peter is now in his homemade suit. He stands among the ruins of a Captain America statue, right in the center of the shield.]

"WHAT THE FRICK!?"

Quentin Beck (vo): I created Mysterio to give the world someone to believe in.

"GO ROT IN HELL BECK!"

[The camera focusses on a colossal Mysterio statue]

Quentin Beck (vo): I control the truth! [part of voice lowering down] Mysterio is the truth.

"NO IT ISNT! IT IS JUST ONE BIG LIE!"

[Mysterio attacks, firing lasers at Spider-Man. He ducks away and grabs Mysterio with his web. He pulls, only for him to disappear, he had pulled a crane down. He avoids the crane, but not the stone arm that falls on top of him while he screams. Peter then stands by Anthony Edward Stark's grave. Yes, it's Tony's full name.]

"Tony.."

Quentin Beck (vo): If you were good enough, (softer) maybe Tony would still be alive.

Tony abruptly stood up face red with anger.

"HOW DARE YOU!? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?! I GAVE MY LIFE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE! I GAVE MY LIFE BECAUSE I KNEW PETER WOULD BE THERE AFTER ME! IT ISNT HIS FUCKING FAULT I DIED! I DIED ON MY OWN ACCORD! DONT YOU FUCKING SAY THAT YOU LITTLE PEICE OF SHIT!"

"Tony, calm down"

"DONT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN RHODES!"

[A mechanized hand bursts out of the ground, trying to grab Peter, who scurries back in fear. The partially decomposed corpse of Tony Stark in an Iron Man suit crawls out of the grave and hovers up. We zoom in on the eye socket, a black widow spider crawls out of it, the eyes transform in several marching Mysterios]

"That is terrifying!"

Quentin Beck (echoing): Deep down, you know I'm right.

"NOO PETER NO!"

[Zoom in on one of the eyes on his costume. It opens and Spider-Man then finds himself in a gigantic snow globe, several buildings shoot out of the snow, surrounding him. We zoom out, the snow globe is Mysterio's head, who detaches it from his body]

"This entire thing is so scary! TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER!"

Quentin Beck (vo): You made your choice, and all you had to do was step aside. And now, you ha-

"What happened?"

[Bang! The illusion suddenly vanishes when Quentin, in his mo-cap outfit, falls on his knees. As he falls to the ground, Fury, who shot Quentin, limps towards Peter, who had been lying in a pile of sand. Several operatives drive onto the scene, get out of their cars and surround Beck]

"HE LIVES!"

"KILL HIM FURY KILL HIM!"

Peter Parker: (crawling out of the sand) Fury!

Nick Fury: Beck's people... We're trying to find everyone who could expose him. Who'd you tell?

"No no no! this is a trap! I feel it....in my belly!"

Peter Parker: Eh...

Nick Fury: I know you told someone. So, just tell me...

"Don't tell him!"

Peter Parker: Okay...

Nick Fury: Who did you tell? (raises his voice) Who else did you tell?!

"DONT SHOUT!"

Peter Parker: Just Ned and MJ from my class, and maybe Ned told his girlfriend Betty, but that's it.

"No Peter! You idiot!"

[Nick chuckles and shakes his head.]

Peter Parker: What?

Nick Fury: You... are so gullible.

"BECK! I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL KILL YOU!"

Peter Parker: What?

Nick Fury: I mean, you're smart as a whip. Just a... [in Quentin's voice] ...sucker.

"NO! PETER!"

[The last piece of the illusion is lifted, Nick Fury was Beck the whole time]

"That is absolutely disgusting!"

Quentin Beck: And now all your friends have to die.

"Don't you even think about it!"

Peter Parker: Oh, my god!

[The two drones on Quentin's sides project a stream of illusions to scare Peter away]

Quentin Beck: It's easy to fool people when they're already fooling themselves. But for what it's worth, Peter... I really am sorry.

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

[The illusion stops. Peter, confused, gets hit by a train, which drives away into a tunnel]

The entire theater was horrified

"PEEEEEETTTTTTEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Quentin Beck: E.D.I.T.H.?

E.D.I.T.H.: Yes, Quentin?

Quentin Beck: Access files to Peter Parker's class trip. I need them to fly home from London.

"NO NO NO!

[Peter, dazed and bruised by the impact of the train, climbs on the train's side. He enters it and sits down in one of the seats before he falls unconscious.]

The theater let out a collective sigh of relief, he was alive

[Cut to black.]


	16. Peter Needs to Get His Artists Straight

[Peter Parker wakes up in a prison cell, an orange football shirt over his chest. He looks to his right to see a Dutch football hooligan]

"The frack!?"

Dutch Football Hooligan #1: Hi.

"Where is he?"

Peter Parker: (confused) Where am I?

"Good question. I wanna know the answer too"

[Another hooligan, sitting to Peter's left, answers]

Dutch Football Hooligan #2: Municipal holding facility.

"Why is he in a holding facility?"

"Because he was unconscious on a train, battered and bloody?"

Dutch Football Hooligan #1: They said they found you unconscious at the train yard. Very dangerous.

"Yep very dangerous" a girl with brown hair brown eyes said

"Uh, the most dangerous" Her older corrected with a laugh

"Sorry, Osh, the most dangerous"

Dutch Football Hooligan #3: We gave you the shirt because you seemed a bit cold.

"Nice people these guys"

Peter Parker: Thanks. You guys are nice. You speak really good English.

"Eh?"

All Three: Welcome to the Netherlands.

"The Netherlands? How did he end up there?"

Peter Parker: I'm in the Netherlands right now?

"Apparently" 

Dutch Football Hooligan #1: Yup.

[Peter stands up and runs to the cell door]

Peter Parker: (calling out) Guard?

Dutch Football Hooligan #1: The guard's on a break. Probably talking to his wife.

Dutch Football Hooligan #2: Yeah. She's pregnant.

"Congrats!"

Dutch Football Hooligan #3: (in Dutch) Oh ja? Wat leuk!

Dutch Football Hooligan #2: (responds in Dutch) Ja, vier weken al.

[Peter breaks the lock with his hand, opens the door and leaves the cell. One of the hooligans stands up and walks to the open door. Peter looks to his left to see the guard wearing the Night Monkey mask. He is indeed talking over the phone to someone]

Guard: Yeah. Yeah. Night Monkey. Yeah.

There was complete silence. 

Then there was utter chaos.

Then came the hysterical laughter

"I don't get it"

[Peter leaves the building, the guard directs his attention to the, no longer locked up, hooligans]

Guard: You guys okay?

[The hooligan closes the door. Peter, now outside on a rather stereotypical farmers market, puts the football shirt on. After stepping in something, he makes his way to a cheese farmer]

Peter Parker: Excuse me, sir? Can I borrow your phone?

Cheese Farmer: (in Dutch) Ja, zeker.

[He hands Peter his phone]

Peter Parker: Everyone's so nice here.

"Yeah, what is up with that?"

[He thinks about who to call for a bit, before typing in Happy Hogan's cell]

"He was gonna call Tony" Shuri whispered

Peter Parker: Okay... Pick up, pick up, pick up... Hey. Hey! Uh... I messed up. I need a... I need a ride. Where am I? Uh... where am I, sir?

"Messed up is an understatement"

"HEY DONT BE RUDE!"

"WHAT! It's true"

Cheese Farmer: (in Dutch) Het is Broek op Langedijk.

"HUh?"

[Peter, clearly having difficulty with Dutch pronunciation, asks the cheese farmer for another favor]

Peter Parker: Hang on, could you say that into there?

Cheese Farmer: Hi, it's Broek op Langedijk.

[Title card: Broek op Langedijk, Netherlands]

Cheese Farmer: Yeah, no problem.

Peter Parker: Thanks. (over the phone) Did you get that?

"Probably not"

[CUT to a tulip field.]

"TULIPS!"

"What has that have to do with anything?"

"I dont know i just wanted to yell Tulips"

[Peter is walking between rows of tulips, one pink and one yellow. A roaring sound as the Quinjet appears, landing in front of him as he staggers forward. A door opens and Happy walks down the stairs]

"HAPPY!"

Happy Hogan: Peter? Are you okay?

"Yeah I'm totally fine, It's not like I got run over by a train or anything"

"And it's like I probably caused the destruction of London"

"And it's not like I almost died"

"OK STOP WE GET THE POINT!"

Peter Parker: Happy, is that you?

Happy Hogan: Is it me? Yeah, of course, it's me!

[Peter hesitates, then halts]

Peter Parker: Stop! Tell me something only you would know!

"Smart"

Happy Hogan: Something only I would know. Uh. You-I-uh, remember when we went to Germany? You pay-for-viewed a video in your room? They didn't list the titles, but I could tell by the price it was an adult film at the front desk. And you didn't know how I knew-

Tony turned to look at Happy suspiciously

"Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious."

Peter Parker: Okay! Okay! Fine, it's you, it's you, stop!

[They hug]

"AWWW! Happy cares"

"Shut up"

Peter Parker: It's so good to see you.

"I'm sure it is"

Happy Hogan: Peter, you're going to have to tell me what the hell is going on here.

[Happy is stitching up wounds in Peter's back, clearly causing pain]

Happy Hogan: Okay... hold still. Here we go.

[Peter visibly flinches]

"I thought he had super strength" 

Happy Hogan: I thought you had super strength.

"Whoops"

Peter Parker: It still hurts.

"HOW! HOW IS THAT!?"

Happy Hogan: All right, relax. Just a few more... there we go.

[Peter yells in pain and slams his fist on the table.]

Happy Hogan: Relax!

"uh oh. Shouldn't have done that"

"Please choose your next words wisely'

"Happy, I don't know what to say at your funeral"

"Really feeling the love guys"

[Peter jumps up from his chair.]

Peter Parker: Don't tell me to relax, Happy! how can I relax when I've messed up so bad? I trusted Beck. Right? I thought he was my friend so I gave him the only thing that Mr. Stark left behind for me and now he's going to kill my friends and half of Europe, so please do not tell me to relax.

"Yeah, sounds about right. Don't tell him to relax"

"The worst part of all that is Beck betraying him"

"Agreed"

[He sits down, silent for a few moments.]

Peter Parker: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't shout. I just really miss him.

"He's still so polite."

Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss him too.

Peter Parker: Everywhere I go, I see his face. And the whole world is asking who is going to be the next Iron Man and... I don't know if that's me, Happy. I'm not Iron Man.

"No. You're better than me Peter"

Happy Hogan: You're not Iron Man. You're never going to be Iron Man. Nobody can live up to Tony. Not even Tony. Tony was my best friend. And he was a mess. He second-guessed everything he did, he was all over the place. The one thing he did that he didn't second-guess was picking you. I don't think Tony would've done what he did... if he didn't know that you were going to be here after he was gone. Your friends are in trouble. You're all alone. The tech is missing. What are you gonna do about it?

The team turned to stare at Happy who was red in the face

"And I thought only Stevie can give motivational speeches"

"Happy, truer words have never been spoken"

[Peter stands, determined.]

Peter Parker: I'm gonna kick his ass.

The theater cheered

Happy Hogan: No, I mean right now. Specifically, what are we gonna do? Because we've been hovering over a tulip field for the last fifteen minutes.

"Wow, way to kill the vibe"

Peter Parker: Right, um... I can't call my friends because he's tracking their phones... uh, give me your phone?

"His phone?"

[He walks over to Happy.]

Happy Hogan: My, my cell phone?

Peter Parker: Yeah.

Happy Hogan: Okay. Here.

Peter Parker: What's your password?

"Let me guess....Password?"

Happy Hogan: Password.

"HAHAHA! I WAS RIGHT!"

"For once in your life"

"HEEY!"

Peter Parker: No, what is your password?

Happy Hogan: Password. The word. Spell it out, password.

"That is idiotic."

"You're the head of security and that's your password?"

"OK I FEEL BAD AND LIKE AN IDIOT! ENOUGH ALREADY!"

Peter Parker: You're the head of security and your password is 'password'?

Happy Hogan: Yeah, I don't feel good about it either.

[Peter has pulled up an app where Flash is vlogging.]

"TIK TOK!!" All them Tik Tokers scream and start doing various dances

Flash Thompson, over the phone: Ello, governor! Cup of tea for you? I'mma be in London soon.

"Worst accent ever"

Peter Parker: They're in London.

Happy Hogan: London? Okay.

[He gets up, moving toward the front of the Quinjet]

Peter Parker: Yeah. I need a suit!

"PETER'S GETTING A NEW SUIT!"

[Happy turns, a bit of a grin on his face.]

"Uh oh. I don't like that look"

Happy Hogan: Suit?

[Happy turns again and walks forward, pressing some buttons on the ceiling. The Avengers theme makes a welcome cameo while a compartment opens behind Peter. The two turn and make eye contact, Peter smiling, then he turns back toward the compartment and moves toward it. Another small compartment opens as Peter stares at it. A small metal pad descends from a part of the ceiling, and Peter puts his hand on it. Blue lights appear, and he steps back.]

"THAT IS SO COOL!"

"I WANT ONE!"

"GIVE ME!"

Peter Parker: Okay, um... bring up everything you have on Spider-Man.

[Holograms appear, and Peter scrolls through them as Happy watches.]

Peter Parker: Yeah, open that. Okay. No, no, no...

[He turns around with a holographic web shooter when he notices Happy watching him.]

Peter Parker: What?

"He really looks like Tony now"

"Like father like son"

Happy Hogan: Nothing. You take care of the suit, I take care of the music.

[Happy presses a few more buttons on the ceiling, the song Back in Black by AC/DC comes on.]

Peter Parker, tossing a wrench in the air: Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! PETER! WHY!?"

[The plane takes off from the field of tulips, and Peter expands a hologram of the Spider-Man suit.]

Peter Parker: Okay, can you pull up my web-shooters?

[A hologram of the web-shooter appears, and Peter pulls out a small part.]

Peter Parker: Isolate the taser webs and reconfigure and boost the voltage to a factor of... 25 percent. And with complete manual control over detonation.

"I've got no idea what he's saying"

"Me neither"

"I just wanna see how the suit looks"

"If you shut up we will"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long.
> 
> Also would you guys be interested in reading them react to the bloopers?


	17. Saving the World Ft. Awkward Moments in Bathrooms II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah  
>  this chapter took a little longer because the script was not complete and I had to wait for it to like update a little bit and also I was just lazy
> 
> Enjoy!

[Scene cuts to Nick Fury and Maria Hill walking through the halls of a building.]

Nick Fury: I thought Kree having sleeper cells was top secret information.

"Kree? Is there something I should know?" Carol said, glancing at Fury

Maria Hill: Nick... satellites are picking up an E.M. pulse.

Nick Fury: I thought that was over.

"Well, you thought wrong!"

Maria Hill: It's the biggest one yet.

Nick Fury: Where?

Maria Hill: London.

"Of freaking course"

[Cuts to the Decathlon team, walking through an airport.]

Mr. Harrington: Okay guys, the company set up a city tour, and then we'll grab a bite, then head to the airport.

"Sounds like a plan"

Brad Davis: Is no one else gonna acknowledge how crazy this is?

"Doesn't look it like it, no"

Mr. Dell: I get it. There's been nothing scientific about this science tour at all.

"I'm not sure that's what he meant, but ok"

Brad Davis: No, no, no. I'm talking about Peter. Has no one else here noticed how shady he is? Because I saw him in a bathroom of a rest stop with some woman, in his underwear...

"That sounds so much shadier"

[Ned and MJ exchange glances.]

Brad Davis, continuing: ...and he's always sneaking away! Like back at the opera? Huh? And now what, he's suddenly off the trip? With his family in Berlin? Is no one else here interested in the truth?

"No, not really"

[Ned lifts a hand, presumably about to talk, but MJ puts an arm in front of him.]

MJ: "The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world."

Brad Davis: George Orwell. Thank you, MJ.

"You're welcome!"

MJ: Yeah, well. I mean, since Peter's not here to tell his truth, 'what about you, Brad? Why do you think it's cool to take pictures of people in the bathroom?

"Yeah bro, not cool"

"CREEPO"

Flash Thompson, clearly recording it: Yeah, dude. What's that about?

"Are you recording?" Betty ask

Flash looked away "no..."

Brad Davis: No, no, it wasn't like that! It was... I was just trying to take...

"DEFEND YOURSELF SUCKER!"

"Bryan, dude don't scream"

"Shut up Torstyn"

"both of you shut up"

"Sorry Nichelle"

Mr. Harrington: Let's just put all this craziness behind us, and have a nice, peaceful afternoon. "Sounds great, Mr. Harrington," said the class, okay...

"Sounds good to me"

"Same"

"We're good, thanks"

[They leave, all except for Mr. Dell and Brad.]

Mr. Dell: I'm gonna be the cool teacher right now... you've got to stop doing that, okay? It is weird. No more photos in the bathroom. Urinal or stalls. Okay?

"Yeah Brad, it's not okay"

"Shut up"

[Brad, defeated, wipes his nose as Mr. Dell walks away. Cut to the rest of the science team.]

Mr. Harrington: Look at this!

"NOICE"

Bus Driver: Mr. Harrington. Come on.

"WAIT A DAMN MINUTE"

"Don't you mean *Dam" 

"SAME THING!"

Mr. Harrington: We've got a bus all to ourselves!

"Yay! WE'VE GOT IT ALL TO OURSELVES!"

Bus Driver: Nice to see you all. Come along.

[Kids hand the man some backpacks. They go onto the bus. The driver, Guterman, presses a button on an earpiece in his ear.]

Guterman: I have the kids.

"Really?! We haven't noticed!"

[Cut to Mysterio, flying around the city, before hovering outside a window in front of Nick Fury.]

"FURY! DUDE AIN'T DEAD!"

Beck: I got here as fast as I could. I did a full perimeter sweep. Nothing.

"YOU AINT LOOKING!"

Nick Fury: Damn it.

Maria Hill: Pulse is spiking.

"Someone be having a heart attack or something?"

"No, you idiot" 

[Beck turns to fly off.]

Quentin Beck: I'll take another look.

Nick Fury: Soon as you see something, report. You're all we got, Beck.

Quentin Beck: This is what I fear. May God help us, Fury.

"Creep, that didn't even sound genuine"

[Cuts to Beck standing in his mocap suit, two drones hovering at his side.]

Quentin Beck: God, help us all.

[A dramatic pause.]

Quentin Beck: Okay, people, no Avengers coming. We're good to go. William, launch the drones.

"WHY DID I FIND THIS LINE SO FUNNY?!"

"Yeah, why you creep"

William Ginther Riva: (behind a computer) Copy that, brother. Drones are entering the atmosphere, weapons hot.

"That sounds really wrong in my head"

[Cuts to a Stark satellite, releasing hundreds of drones.]

"Oh....shtuff about to happen"

Quentin Beck: Excellent. Janice?

[Janice is steaming the tangible cape of Quentin]

Janice: Still working on the cape.

"NO CAPES!"

"Edna, chill"

Quentin Beck: You gotta get those wrinkles out in a few hours. I could literally be shaking hands with the Queen. Guterman?

"The Queen? Seriously"

[Guterman drives the bus to a specific location]

Guterman: Almost in position.

Quentin Beck: Okay, hit it, Victoria.

Victoria: Increasing pulse.

"I'm honestly disturbed"

[Cut to Maria Hill on her computer, watching the pulse.]

Maria Hill: Whatever this thing is, it's a hundred times bigger than the previous ones.

"HAD YOU FOOLED!"

Quentin Beck: E.D.I.T.H.?

E.D.I.T.H.: Yes, Quentin.

Quentin Beck: Show me my loose ends.

"NO NO!"

[Holograms showing Nick Fury and Maria Hill show up, then switch to Betty Brant, MJ, and Ned.]

"FRICK!"

Quentin Beck: Once the show's going, execute a kill order on my command.

"Don't you dare"

E.D.I.T.H.: Copy.

Quentin Beck: Alright, start the show. Let's save the world, people.

[The scene cuts to the tour bus with Mr. Harrington's class on the . Everyone is sitting on the top deck. Betty, Ned and MJ are situated at the front of the top deck. Camera moves in as Ned and MJ stand up.]

MJ: I don't like this. Something's definitely up.

"Yep!"

Ned Leeds: You're an FOS now. "Friend of Spider-Man." And you have to remember, just stay calm.

[Thunder can be heard rumbling off in the distance. Suddenly, a crash of thunder is heard as Ned and MJ quickly look to their left. Storm clouds begin to descend from the top of a building]

MJ: That doesn't look good.

"Really? We haven't noticed"

Ned Leeds: But it's fake, so there's nothing to worry about.

[Cut to Guterman.]

Guterman: And the kids are in the kill zone.

"RUDE!"

[Guterman brakes the bus, gets out of the driver seat, and begins to exit the bus, while holding a flat cap and some papers.]

"Um....Ok? I guess"

Quentin Beck: (over radio) Great work, Guterman.

[Guterman opens the bus door and exits the bus. The door closes. He puts on the flat cap.]

[Cut to Nick Fury. His phone buzzes.]

Nick Fury: What?

Happy Hogan: Uh... Happy here. Happy Hogan here.

"HAPPY!!"

"Why do they automatically scream HAPPY when they see him?"

"It's a running joke mortal, we don't expect you to understand"

Nick Fury: I know. What do you want?

Happy Hogan: Over at Mr. Stark's, going through his belongings. Apparently, there was a surfboard that you left behind.

"Um"

Nick Fury: What?

Happy Hogan: People over there said they didn't think Nick Fury was a surfer, but I said: "Appearances can be deceiving."

"That's actually really smart"

Nick Fury: It's not mine. And don't ever call this number again.

[Nick Fury hangs up furious. He turns his head and looks at Maria Hill. He holds his gaze for a moment and looks back toward the window.]

"IM JUST CERFUGGLED"

[The scene cuts to a coastal region. The Stark Industries Private Jet flies over the area. The text "DORSET COAST, UNITED KINGDOM." is superimposed on the landscape.]

Happy Hogan: Okay. Fury's got the coded message. Your friends are at the Tower Bridge.

Peter Parker: Okay.

Happy Hogan: Your boy called it the London Bridge, but I figured it out. I'mma go scoop them up, okay?

"Please do"

Peter Parker: Yeah.

Happy Hogan: We're close.

Peter Parker: We're close.

Happy Hogan: How's the suit comin'?

"I wanna see it!"

Peter Parker: Almost done.

Happy Hogan: Good.

Peter Parker: Wait, wait, whoa, whoa. Before you go...

[Peter pulls out the Black Dahlia necklace]

Peter Parker: If something happens to me, could you please give this to MJ?

"AWWW!"

Happy Hogan: You're gonna make it back. You'll give it to her yourself. 'Kay? You got this.

"Great speech buddy"

"I try"

Peter Parker: I got this.

Happy Hogan: Now walk me through it.

Peter Parker: (taking a deep breath) I know it's illusion tech, right?

Happy Hogan: Mhm.

Peter Parker: All I have to do is get on the inside of the illusion, then I can take it down, find him, and he's just a guy, so I can take E.D.I.T.H. right back.

"Easier said than done"

Happy Hogan: Right, but last time, you got hit by a train.

"WHOOPS! He got you there Petey"

"Did you just call him Petey?"

"Yeah"

Peter Parker: True, but this time... how do I explain this? Uh... I have like a sixth sense.

"PETER-TINGLE!"

Happy Hogan: The Peter-tingle. That's what you're talking about, right?

"Lolz"

"Just shu

[Peter looks visibly annoyed by the mention of Peter-tingle. It's clear that Aunt May told Happy about the Peter-tingle.]

"Lol, look at his face"

"He looks so annoyed"

Happy Hogan: It's not working, though. I heard it wasn't working right now. Is it?

"It's working"

Peter Parker: It is working. Well, I don't... I don't know if it's working...

Happy Hogan: Good, so you got the Peter-tingle. That's the plan. I'm gonna go get your friends. You get that Peter-tingle back online.

"I honestly feel so bad for him right now"

"Why though"

"Because"

[Happy Hogan runs back to the cockpit.]

Peter Parker: I got this. I got this.

"YOU GOT THIS PETER! YOU GOT THIS!" The entire theater yelled

[The Spider-Man suit is still in the process of being made as the outer layer is currently being applied. We see a close-up of the eye lenses being constructed rapidly by several mechanical arms. Finally, the spider logo is inserted by a mechanical arm.]

"THAT IS SUPER COOL"

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

"I want a suit!"


End file.
